Nightmare Reprieve
by Vastulja Sata Menton
Summary: Duo Maxwell is a famous artist and DJ. Unbeknownst to everyone including himself, he has bipolar. His best friend is Quatre Winner who is intent on hooking him up with someone but Duo wants his life to stay exactly the way it is. Can Duo face his past and mental issues and let someone give him the love he deserves? AU. Angst & Mature Warning. Current/Future Parings: 2x13, 2x1, 3x4
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It was a cool spring night in the city of London, England. It was Saturday night and the streets were alive with people gathering at bars and clubs. One club in particular, The Nocto, featured electronic music and was a hot spot, openly welcoming all genders, races and sexuality. It was neutral ground, as some would say, for anyone looking to have a good time and not worry about discrimination. Two young men entered the club. The first man, Duo Maxwell, had long chestnut brown hair that had been braided. He was wearing tight black jeans with a black crop top and thigh high punk style boots. His violet eyes had been thickly outlined with eyeliner and he had a cross earring hanging from his left lobe. The other man, Quatre Winner, was shorter than Duo and had short blond hair. He was dressed in a simple outfit of tight blue jeans, tennis shoes and a light blue v neck t shirt. They both made their way through the crowd and approached the bar of the club. They shouted their drink orders to the bar tender and waited for them to be made. Upon receiving their drinks, the two men meandered until they found an empty table next to the wall and next to a group of three men who were drinking and conversing. Duo relaxed into one of the chairs with his back to the wall. He sat across from Quatre, nursing his drink. He let the beat of the music fill his senses as he conversed with his best friend.

"How have things been going Duo?" Quatre inquired before taking a sip of his beverage.

"Not too bad. I have a few shows coming up this week so I've been pretty busy lately. How about yourself?"

"Everything has been going well for me also. I have a handful of cases to work on, and a couple of them are going to court next week so I've been buried in work."

"Don't you think you should stop taking so many cases? It cant be good for your health to be working so much."  
Quatre chuckled. "I could say the same for you. I swear you're doing a show every other night."

"Heh," Duo looked down at his drink as he swirled the liquid inside of it around. "It fills the space of time, and I enjoy the work so its not that bad. I've been super focused on finishing this album, so I've been trying to not take on too many extra shows."

"Oh? Are you almost finished with it?"

"Hmm, I'd say that I'm over halfway through the bulk of it. That doesn't include all the editing and fine tuning that I have to do on it all. Enough about all that, how have your sisters been lately?"

"Oh! I cant believe that I forgot to tell you! Quaterine is getting married in a few months!"

"Really? That's awesome news!"

Just then, a tall platinum blond haired man sat down in the chair next to Duo. Duo was about to turn and politely ask the man to leave when the man began speaking.

"What do we have here? It looks like a couple of sissy boys out on a date together."

Duo turned, anger filling his eyes. "Bugger off, dick wad."

"Oh ho ho! Did I made the fag angry? Whatcha gunna do about it pussy?"

"Hey. Why don't you just leave them alone?" A tall man with tousled brown hair interjected from the table beside them. The action irked Duo; he didn't need someone jumping in to help him.

The blond haired man turned his attention to the other table, noticing three men sitting together drinking. He glared. "What? Three more fags here to ruin the night?" He turned his attention back to Duo. "Look at that fairy, another cock-knocker is sticking up for you. Are you gunna take him out back and suck his dick off?"

Duo's blood was boiling, and before he could restrain himself he was punching the man in the face hard enough to knock him and the chair his was sitting in over. Duo stood, "Come on Quatre, lets get out of here."

Quatre, who had been sitting silently trying to keep his head down, stood. "Oh, okay." He followed the braided haired man out of the club. The began to make their way back to where they had parked.

Duo sighed, trying to brush off his irritation. He pulled a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of his pocket before popping one in his mouth and lighting it. He took a long drag before exhaling. "Talk about a bunch of bull shit. Its fucking ridiculous that in this day and age we have to deal with shit like that. The Nocto is supposed to be a neutral club."

"Hmm. Duo, you really should stop smoking. Its bad for you." Quatre interjected as they grew closer to the car.

Duo smiled, "Well, you cant live forever. You gotta live life to the fullest, and I'll be damned if I stop enjoying myself now."

Quatre gave Duo a look of concern, but dropped the subject. He had been trying to get Duo to quit for years now, but had had no luck in the matter. Just as they were approaching the car, there was a shout from behind them.

"Hey you little faggot!" They both stopped and spun around to see the blond man from the club following them. He was slightly out of breath, clearly rushing to catch up to them. "That was a cheep shot back there. Why dont you try to take me on like a real man."

"Could you please just leave us alone?" Quatre pleaded, not wanting a fight to ensue.

The man laughed. "And what are you going to do if I don't pansy? You know what I think you should do? I think that all of you queers should just go and kill yourselves."

It happened in a flash. One minute the man was laughing, and the next he was on the ground. Duo had jumped at the man and was mercilessly pounding his fists into the mans face. Hate raged in his violet eyes. He threw punch after punch, and soon blood began to run.

"Duo! Duo please you have to stop!" Quatre rushed over and pulled his friend off of the man.

"Let me go! Let me kill the mother fucker!" Duo raged, fighting to brush Quatre off of him. He stopped suddenly when he noticed three men standing a few feet away from them. It was the same three men that had been sitting at the table beside them at the club. He took a deep breath, brushed himself off and turned to close the distance between himself and his car.

Quatre hesitated, eyeing the man lying on the ground, hands over his face groaning in pain. "I'm - I'm sorry." He then turned and quickly caught up to Duo before climbing into the passenger side of the black Maserati.

End Chapter


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It had been three days since the incident at the club and Duo had almost forgotten about it. He had been working hard on a new display for an art gallery that was showing later that week and working late nights DJing. He had just finished a meeting with his manager and was on his way back to the parking garage to meet Quatre for lunch. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it. He took a hit and continued to walk. The meeting with his manager had gone well. He had a few new gigs to prepare for, but the pressure to finish his album quickly was wearing on him. He finished his cigarette and tossed it on the ground, snuffing it out with his boot. When he looked up, his body froze. Three men stood in his path half a block from him. Their arms were crossed and the look in their eyes screamed a promise of pain. The man in the middle was the blond man from the club that Duo had punched and beaten up. Duo quickly took stock of his options. He wasn't confident that he could fight off three guys, and to be honest he didn't want to take his chances. He had passed an ally way about a block back so without a second thought he turned and bolted. He could hear the sound of chasing feet behind him, and he pushed himself to run faster. He was praying that the alleyway had a fire escape or let out somewhere and that it wasn't just a dead end. He didn't make it a habit to venture in and explore random alleys, so he could only hope for the best.

He spotted the entrance of the ally and made a sharp turn. He ran halfway down the ally, and turned left down a side ally. He pushed on and stopped abruptly when he saw that it was a dead end. He cursed mentally. He turned as the sound of footfalls stopped and found himself cornered by the three men that had been chasing him. His heart was racing, not only from the running but also from the fear that had seeped into his skin. He was trapped and out of options. He had no other choice than to fight.

"Well look at that, the fucking faggot from the club that took a cheep shot. Whats wrong fairy? Not feeling like a big shot now that your alone and its three against one are you?" The man from the club jeered. Him and the other two men slowly crept closer to Duo, closing him in even more. "I'm going to make you pay for humiliating me in front of all of those people. I'm going to make you pay so much you wont forget."

Duo swallowed. There was no way talking his way out of this.

xxxx

Heero had left the office building where he held the title of lead programmer. He was on his way to grab a quick lunch. One of the things he loved about downtown was the ally ways. Most of them connected parallel streets which made it easy for him to slip through and get lunch from a quiet cafe. He had just turned down the alleyway that was a few buildings from his work and was casually making his way towards the street when he heard a scuffle. It wasn't uncommon for thugs to ruff people up away from prying eyes, and it wasn't in Heero's nature to get involved in things that didn't concern him. It might seem cold-hearted, but it was simply about self preservation. He began to walk past the side ally, when he glanced and noticed a figure curled on the ground with three men surrounding it kicking. He was about to continue on when he noticed the figure had long chestnut hair in a braid. His memory flashed an image from the club. Without thinking he stopped and shouted, "Hey!"

The three men stopped and all eyes fell on Heero. He panicked. He hadn't intended to get involved, and he had no idea what to do next.

"Hmph! Well, it looks like our fun has come to an end boys. No matter, we're finished here anyway." The man looked down at the man that was curled up and threatened, "We may be done now, but watch your back fag." With that the three men walked away, brushing past Heero and exiting the ally.

Heero was frozen, not in fear but in shock. The man some feet from him coughed and began to struggle to his feet. Heero jolted out of his frozen state and rushed to the other man. "Here, let me help you."

The man leaned against the wall and aggressively brushed Heero off causing him to step back. "I don't need any fucking help." He righted himself on two feet and brushed himself off.

"Are you okay?" Heero inquired, concern lacing the question.

The other man glared at him with deep violet eyes. "I'm fine. Thanks for stepping in, but I don't need anyone to rescue me. You should just keep moving on and forget all about this." He began to walk away from, but as he approached the junction of the two alleys, he stumbled and collapsed.

xxxx

Duo woke with a pounding in his head. At first he couldn't figure out why his head hurt so bad, and then he remembered the three men in the ally beating him without restraint. He slowly opened his eyes, squinting against the bright light. His sight adjusted and he took note that he was in a hospital room. _Ugg, you have got to be kidding me. How the hell did I even end up here?_

Just then, Quatre entered the room with a soda in hand. "Duo! You're awake!" He rushed to the other mans side, setting his drink down on the bedside table. "Are you okay? How are you feeling?" The blond mans words rushed out of his mouth as he fretted over his friend.

Duo sighed. "My head is fucking killing me, and body's pretty sore but I think I'll recover. Thanks Quatre." Duo smiled, and a thought popped in his head. "Hey Quatre, how did I get here? The last thing I remember was being in an ally way with.."

Quatres eyebrows perked up. "Oh! Well, Heero called an ambulance and they brought you here. I'm your emergency contact so they called me and I got here as fast as I could."

Duo gave his friend a funny look. "Who the hell is Heero?"

Quatre chuckled. "He's the one who found you. He's actually one of the guys that was sitting at the table next to ours when we were at the club the other night."

Duo's strained to remember what the three men sitting at the table next to them had looked like. His head hurt though, so he gave up.

"He's still here, actually, in the waiting room. He was worried about you after those thugs beat you and wanted to make sure you were alright." Quatre sheepishly informed.

Duo rolled his eyes and sat up, which caused him more pain and he winched. "I don't know why anyone would bother to be honest."

Quatre huffed. "Stop it Duo. You cant really believe that I am the only one who has the patience to deal with your shenanigans."

"Hmph. No one else has been able to put up with me, so I've stopped caring if anyone does to be honest."

"You cant really mean that Duo. I know you've been hurt, but you have to let the past go and move on with your life. You cant keep holding onto the pain of the past."

"Yeah, easier said than done."

Just then there was a knock at the open door. Both men looked up to see a tall man with brown hair standing in the door way. Duo noted that it was the same man that had tried to help him in the ally. _So this must be Heero._

Heero cleared his throat. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to make sure that you were doing okay."

A glare set into Duo's face. "Yeah, fine thanks," he affirmed curtly. Why the hell was this random guy worried about him? It's not like Duo had ever done anything for him.

"Duo!" Quatre smacked his friends arm. "Show some gratitude for gods sake!"

"No, its okay," Heero stated. "Don't worry about it. I just wanted to make sure that you were well. If you're doing fine, I'll be taking my leave." Heero turned to leave.

"No wait!" Quatre jumped up. "Please, don't leave because Duo's being an ass." He shot a disapproving look at Duo. "Please, I'm so grateful that you were there to stop those guys and call for help."

"It was nothing really. Don't mention it." A small smile formed on Heero's face.

"Knock Knock!" A doctor entered the room behind Heero. "I'm here to check up on our patient." It was a short woman with curly brown hair. She made her way around Heero and to Duo's bedside. She held a clipboard and pen in her hands. "My name's Dr Kathy, and I have been overseeing your care since you arrived. So, how are you feeling Mr. Maxwell."

Duo's demeanor changed. "Thank you. I'm not feeling too bad. My head hurts a bit, but I'm okay."

"That is to be expected. You were roughed up pretty bad. But it doesn't look like there is any permanent damage. All of your tests came back perfectly fine. I'm going to do a couple of quick tests to make sure you're up to par and if that goes well we can talk about releasing you."

"Okay, that seems reasonable."

The doctor performed a few simple tests that included reflex, vision, and coordination. She also tested his cognitive abilities by asking him questions such as the date, where he was and his name. She took notes as she went.

"Well Mr Maxwell, it looks like you're doing just fine. We can release you as soon as we get the paperwork written up. Now please take care to get plenty of rest and if you are experiencing any pain you can take over the counter Tylenol. If you experience anything out of the ordinary please come back in right away as a concussion is possible but may take a few days to appear. Other than that, I would like to see you back here in three to four days to follow up. It was a pleasure treating you Mr Maxwell, please do take care." With that she left the three men alone.

"That's great news Duo! I'm so glad you're okay." Quatre gushed, a huge smile on his face.

"Hmph, yeah. Do you guys mind leaving so I can get changed?" Duo asked callously.

"Are you sure you can do it on your own? Do you need help?" Quatre asked, leaning against the bed with weary eyes.

Duo shot him a glare. "I'm fine Quatre." Why did Quatre always have to baby him? Thank you, but I think I can handle dressing myself."

Quatre sighed. "Fine, but please take it easy. We will be in the waiting room." He stood and nodded to Heero who turned and left. He followed suit, making his way to the waiting room.

xxxx

Quatre caught up to Heero as he was walking towards the exit.

"Wait Heero!" The other man stopped and turned towards him. "Please forgive Duo for being so cold. He's really a good person, he just.."

Heero shook his head. "Dont worry about it, and there is no need to apologize. Im just glad that he's okay. To be honest I'm kind of used to that kind of thing. I have a friend who's pretty cold about everything." He chuckled.

Quartre sighed. "Well, its nice to know someone else has to deal with something like that."

Heero nodded. "They drive you crazy, but you care about them so you put up with it."

Quatre chuckled, and an idea popped into his head. "Hey, would you like to hang out some time with Duo and I? There is a new art exhibit showing in a few days and I was wondering if you would like to come? Its a charity event but there is no pressure to donate. I can get you on the guest list."

Heero visibly hesitated. "Thank you, but I dont think I can accept that offer."

Quatre's face dropped, but his determination held strong. "Oh please! Its nothing, really. It just means so much to me that you were kind enough to help Duo. He's been my best friend since we were children and he means the world to me. Its the least that I can do for someone who saved his life."

Heero blushed, "Well, if you put it that way. I guess I have no choice but to accept. Very well, I accept your invitation."

Quatre's grabbed Heero's hands in excitement and held them. "Oh thank you so much! I can take your email and send you all of the details."

Heero smiled and nodded.

End Chapter 2


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Duo sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror. It was Friday night and it had been three days since what he coined 'The Incident'. He had gone back to the doctors earlier that day and had been released by the doctor to resume his regular daily activities. In truth, he had never made any change to his daily activities. Today was a big day, and there was no way he was going to stop working.

He nervously adjusted his burgundy jacket and black turtleneck. He wasn't sure why he was so nervous. This wasn't his first big event. He had done previous exhibit showings before, and he had even done plenty of concerts. This was different though. This was the first time he had done a charity exhibit. It was a cause that was important to him. He refused to let anything or anyone stop him from what he felt in his heart was right.

xxxx

Heero entered the large open art gallery. He was tense as he had never been to an event like this. He had dressed in a simple black jacket, with a white dress shirt and black dress slacks. He had decided against a tie as it felt too stuffy. He looked around at it everything. There were paintings hanging on the walls that were painted in an abstract style. A large crowd of well dressed people mingled about the room, viewing and conversing. He noticed waiters dressed in white tuxedos meandering through the guests with trays and offering everyone wine.

"Wow, this looks like a pretty hoppin' party. I didn't know you knew someone of this caliber Heero."

Heero looked up at his friend, Trowa. The man had brown hair and he had styled it to lay over half his face, despite Heero's wish that he style it in a more formal manner. He was wearing a black button down shirt that was buttoned to the neck with a tailored silver jacket and black dress slacks. Heero rolled his eyes at the mans choice of dress, as well as his statement. Heero could hardly believe that Trowa had picked a silver jacket. Leave it to him to throw a flare into his style even at an event like this. "Well, it was a gift of gratitude really. I guess no good deed goes unpunished."

"Hmm, too true."

Heero began moving further into the gallery. "Come on, I want to see if I can find Quatre. I need to thank him for inviting us to this event." Trowa followed him as he made his way through the crowd of people. As he looked, he took note of the artwork on the walls. There were many pieces, some that could be combined to create a single piece. The art was astonishing. He had seen art like this before, but only in the office of the Chairman of the Board at his work. These had to be worth tens of thousands of pounds. For a moment he was awestruck at the thought of being at an event like this.

"Hey Heero, you said this was a charity right?"

"Yeah." Heero continued to slowly make his way through the other guests.

"Do you think they'll be auctioning off these paintings?"

"I don't know, maybe. Why?"

Trowa shrugged, unseen by the other man who was walking in front of him. "There is a lot of amazing work here. I don't know a lot about art, but these are beautiful."

Heero nodded. In that moment, he caught sight of short blond hair moving through the crowd. He headed towards it and approached the person.

"Quatre?"

The man turned around and smiled. "Heero! You came. I'm so happy you accepted the invitation." The shorter man embraced him in a hug, which threw Heero off guard. Before he could react, the embrace ended and Quatre was stepping away to a friendly distance.

"Of course. Don't mention it."

"And this is your guest that you brought with you?" Quatre gestured towards Trowa.

Heero glanced at Trowa and affirmed, "Oh yes, this is my friend Trowa. Trowa this is Quatre."

Quatre shook Trowa's hand, "A pleasure to meet you Trowa. I'm happy to meet someone who is friends with the person who saved my best friends life. I'm sure you've heard all about it."

Trowa smiled and nodded, "A pleasure to meet you as well Quatre. Indeed, I have heard all about it." The smile on his face grew even larger, as if he was enjoying a private joke.

Heero shot a glare at him, fighting the growing blush. He cleared his throat.

Quatre returned to where he had been standing. "Would the two of you like some wine?"

"Sure," the two men answered in unison.

Quatre quickly found a waiter and retrieved three glasses of wine for the three of them. He handed the two men their drinks and took a drink of his own.

Heero took a drink of the white wine, before breaking the silence. "So Quatre, your email was kind of short-"

"Oh I'm so sorry! I have been drowning in work lately and had my secretary email you a quick over view of things."

"No worries. I was just wondering what this event is all about." Heero inquired, sipping on his wine.

"Oh, well-" he stopped as there was a commotion near the back of the room. A woman with short brown hair stepped up onto a platform with a mic in her hand.

"Could I please have everyone's attention?" There was a pause as the room quieted down. "Thank you everyone for coming out to this event. I know that you are all busy with work and family. We are grateful that you have taken time to partake in this first ever Aminon charity auction. Please put your hands together to welcome the guest of honor."

The group applauded as the woman stepped down and a man took his place. Heero was shocked to see none other than the man that he had saved, Duo Maxwell.

Duo held the mic and waited for the applause to simmer down. "Thank you. I would like to first thank you all for coming. This exhibit has been many years in the making., and I am thankful for all of those who have been by my side through it all. As some of you may know, my older brother died of AIDS and in truth he has always been the one person that I have looked up to. He was an amazing man who strove to make his dreams come true and even when things were at their worst, he never gave up. Tonight's exhibit is an auction for my art, and all proceeds will go to The Global Fund to help fight against AIDS, malaria and tuberculosis. Again I want to thank you all for coming to be a part of this event. Please enjoy the wine and the hors d'oeuvres at your leisure. The main event will begin in 45 minutes." He stepped off of the platform and the party resumed.

"Come on, lets go find Duo." Quatre smiled and lead the other two men through the crowd of people to the area by the platform. Duo was there smiling and talking with three women.

"Duo!" Quatre exclaimed, moving in to embrace his friend.

"Quatre." Duo hugged him, a smile smile on his face. He looked up and noticed Heero and Trowa and the smile disappeared. He pulled away from his friend and turned to two of the women.

"I'm sorry ladies, but I will have to take my leave now. Thank you for all your help." The women smiled, shook his hand, exchanged their goodbyes and left. He then turned to the woman that was left. "Thanks Hildie, I'll meet up with you later." The woman smiled, nodded and rolled her eyes before departing.

"Duo, I invited Heero and his guest tonight!" Quatre smiled.

"I see that." Duo remarked coldly.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I invited them. I've just been so busy lately." Quatre gave Duo an innocent smile. The braided man glared at him. There was an awkward silence for a moment, before Quatre broke it. "Duo, this is Trowa, Heero's friend."

"Pleasure to meet you." Trowa extended his hand and Duo reluctantly but firmly shook it.

"Pleasure."

Quatre cleared his throat in an attempt to ease the tension. "Well Duo, why don't you tell them about your art."

Duo visibly sighed, before agreeing, "Very well."

"I'm sorry, but I heard that woman mention the name Aminon." Heero interjected.

"Yeah, its my pseudonym." Duo stated matter-of-factly.

"Like the famous Aminon, the DJ and artist" Trowa asked, shock showing in his face.

"Yeah." Duo answered curtly, a look of apathy on his face.

"Wow. That's amazing. Your work is amazing." Heero admitted.

"Thanks."

Quatre cleared his throat, "I'm sorry gentlemen, could you please excuse the two of us?" Trowa and Heero nodded and Quatre grabbed Duo by the wrist and dragged him off to the corner. "Duo! Stop being so damn rude to them!"

Duo crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "I don't know what you're trying to play at Quatre. If this is some kind of way of setting me up with that guy, you're not going to succeed. I don't need anyone." Duo spat.

Quatre flinched. He knew that Duo didn't mean he didn't need him as a friend when he said that, but hearing that hurt him. "Duo, why cant you just get to know someone merely to be friends with them?"

"Because it always blows up in my face!" Duo exclaimed. "I have enough friends!"

Quatre gave him an annoyed face. "You have two Duo, and one of them is also your manager." Quatre could see the hurt in Duo's eyes, despite his aggressive stance.

"And two is enough," Duo stated firmly.

"Ugg! You can be so frustrating sometimes Duo!" Quatre threw his hands up in exasperation.

Duo shrugged. "If that's all, I need to get going Quatre. The auction is going to begin soon and I need to be there when it starts. I'll talk to you later." With that, Duo walked away.

Quatre sighed. Sometimes he felt like it was hopeless to get Duo to open up again. But he wasn't going to give up. They were best friends, and he knew that one day Duo would let someone back in. Quatre nodded to himself before going back to Trowa and Heero who were now standing in front of a painting.

"Sorry about that." Quatre apologized, tentatively scratching his temple. "Duo had to meet up with his manager before the auction begins."

Heero smiled, "Don't worry about it. Don't let it upset you, I'm sure he's just stressed with what happened the other day and this huge event."

Quatres shoulders slumped, "I wish that that was the only reason."

"If you think that's bad, you should meet Wufei." Trowa laughed. Quatre perked up in curiosity.

"Whos Wufei?"

"He's our friend. He's kind of...", Heero trailed off in a search for the right words.

"Uptight?" Trowa laughed.

"Yeah I guess that's one way to describe him."

Quatre smiled. He enjoyed the comfortable atmosphere that the two other men brought, and he especially enjoyed looking at Trowa. He felt a need to get to know them better. He started formulating a plan in his head as they conversed about the art. He was determined to help his friend out, even if Duo didn't want the help.

End Chapter 3


	4. Chapter 4

**Warning: Mature scene in this chapter.**

Chapter 4

A month and a half had passed since the charity exhibit and Duo had been working hard. He had finished his album and submitted it to his manager two weeks earlier. He had since then been doing a mini tour in Europe. His last show was in London, and it was tonight.

The stage was set and it was his time to go on. He grabbed the mask that completed his stage outfit and pulled it on. He looked in the mirror and inspected the outfit. He wore tight leather pants with goth style boots. His upper body had been partially painted red and black in an abstract design of his own making. The mask on his face was also a work of his own, mimicking a demon face. Tonight was going to be a good night, he knew it. He planned to put on a concert that would keep people talking for months. Happy with his appearance, he turned and left the dressing room.

It was a full venue, and the electricity of the music could be felt in the air. Duo performed perfectly, getting lost in the beats of the electronic music. It was one of his favorite things to do, to perform his music for others. Enjoying the music and watching others enjoy the same. When he was finished, he stepped down from the stage and made his way back to his dressing room. When he arrived, he took his mask off and put it on the table. He noticed the light on his cell phone blinking, indicating he had a text message. He wiped sweat from his face with a nearby towel before grabbing it and reading the message.

Quatre:  
Duo! You were amazing tonight! We need to get together, I  
haven't seen you in weeks! I'll be at our favorite bar after the  
show. Please come out with me!

Duo smiled at the message. He did miss his best friend, and it would be nice to get out and celebrate the end of his tour. He had been working so much the past month and taking a night off was just what he needed to calm his nerves and relax. He messaged back: I'll be there in 45 minutes. Don't drink too much before I get there ;P. He set the phone down and stripped his clothing off. His phone buzzed and he read the message that he received in return: See you then! He set the phone down one last time before heading to the adjoining bathroom and jumping into the shower.

As he washed, he let his thoughts wonder. He was hoping that it would be just Quatre meeting him at the bar tonight. He was in need of some serious bonding time with his best friend, and having anyone else there would ruin it. He had this feeling like Quatre was going to try and pull a fast one on him by inviting those two guys from the exhibit. He tried to shake the feeling off and forced himself to focus on having a good time tonight.

Duo stepped out of the shower when he had finished. He was excited to get out and have some fun so he had been quick to shampoo and wash. It wasn't an easy task to wash hair that was past your butt, but he had made an art of it. He quickly dried himself off, giving his hair a quick towel dry before pulling it back into a tight braid. He preferred when his hair was dry when he braided it, but he didn't have time for that. He quickly threw some eyeliner on and exited the bathroom to dig through his suit case. He didn't have time to go to his apartment, so he had to make do with what he had. He threw on a clean pair of black leather pants and a black mesh tank-top before slipping the boots he had worn earlier on. He grabbed his wallet and chained it to his belt-loop before tucking it in his back pocket. He gathered his phone and his cigarettes and lighter before slipping them into his pockets. He was ready to go. Before he headed out he shot a quick text to Hildie to inform her that he was was going out and would return to the venue in the morning to retrieve his things. She messaged him back thanking him and telling him that his equipment would be taken care of.

Duo stepped out of the building into the warm summer night. He looked around at the night goers. He was going to have to get a cab to get to the bar. He had come back into town on the tour bus and had no other way there. He hailed a cab and gave the driver instructions to his destination. It did not take long for them to get to the bar as it was not horribly far from the venue. Duo thanked the man and paid for his fare before stepping out onto the sidewalk. He walked into the bar and took a quick glance around, spotting his best friend at the bar. He smiled and went to the bar, leaning against it beside Quatre.

"Hey."

Quatre turned and smiled when he saw the other man. "Duo! I missed you! I'm so glad you agreed to come out tonight. I know you've been crazy busy and a night out is just what you need."

"Thanks. Yeah, I agree with you that I need a night out. I've been working nonstop for weeks."

"Well I'm glad you agree. Here, I ordered us drinks." The blond handed him a Long Island and began to walk towards the tables. Duo followed, taking a drink of the alcohol. It was sweet, but had a strong kick to it. He liked it. He took another drink, eager to feel the effects so he could relax. That idea was thrown to the wind when he stopped short behind Quatre. The blond man sat down at a table that already had three other occupants. Two of them were Trowa and Heero, and the other was a man that he had never met.

"Come on Duo, sit down already."

Duo realized he had been standing for too long, and slowly pulled out the remaining chair between Quatre and Heero and sat down. He sat uncomfortably, drinking his alcohol.

"Duo, this is Wufei. He's a friend of Heero and Trowa." Quatre introduced the black haired man sitting between Heero and Trowa.

Wufei nodded his head in recognition, "Hello."

"Hi," Duo responded.

"Duo you were amazing tonight! I love going to your shows. We all had a great time." Quatre smiled, taking a drink of his martini.

"You all?" Duo asked, taking a drink.

"Yeah, I invited Heero and Trowa and they brought Wufei to the show." Duo choked on his drink a little but Quatre continued, "Its really hard to get tickets to your show, and since you had one so close to home I thought I'd invite our new friends out to enjoy it."

Duo stared at the ice in his glass. _OUR friends? You mean your new friends and the guy you're trying to hook me up with_. He wanted to leave. He didn't have the energy to deal with Quatre's schemes. In the brief silence, he chugged the last half of his drink before setting it down and beginning to stand up. "Well it was nice seeing you all, but I think its about time I get home. I have equipment to take care of, so I'll just head out."

Quatre grabbed him by the wrist, a creepy smile on his face. "No need Duo, I already messaged Hildie and she told me that she had everything taken care of. You're free for the night."

Duo stood, thoughts racing in his head. Quatre had gone behind his back and made sure that Hildie would take care of anything so that he had no choice but to stay. He took a deep breath and sat back down. How the hell was he supposed to get out of this ambush? He looked at his drink and an idea popped into his head. "Well, my drink is empty so I guess I should go back up to the bar and order another." A tiny smile formed on his lips, barely noticeable. He planned to make a quick exit as he headed to the bar.

"Oh! Don't worry about that. Everything is on my tab tonight, so I'll run and grab you one!" Quatre jumped up, leaving his martini on the table, and scurried off to the bar.

Duo was left alone with two people he hardly even knew, and another he did not know at all. There was an awkward silence. He desperately wanted to get up and leave, but he did not want to let his best friend down. He was torn. Quatre was clearly trying hard to get him out and meeting new people, but he simply had no desire to change the way things already were.

"So, Duo, you're an amazing artist and fantastic musician. Is there anything else you do?" Heero inquired, holding a beer in his hand.

"Uh, nope. Just art and music." Duo answered, his eyes awkwardly bouncing between the three men.

"Well that's still pretty amazing. Who knew that one day we would end up meeting the world famous Aminon." Trowa said.

"Thanks..." Duo trailed off, at a loss for words. He hated shit like this. Casual interactions with strangers. He didn't know what to say, or do. There was once a time when he did, but that had changed many years ago. He had hidden away that part of him, shutting off any connections other than the ones he already had.

"I'm back!" Quatre bounded into his chair, handing Duo his new drink. This one was a different color, but it did not matter to Duo. He took it and downed it quickly. If he was going to have to sit through this, he sure as heck wasn't going to be sober if he could help it.

Quatre laughed and said, "No worries Duo, I asked the bartender to have a waitress keep an eye on our table. There will be another one of those coming soon."

The night waged on, the three men and Quatre conversing about casual topics such as work and hobbies. Duo stayed silent, quickly finishing drink after drink as the waitress brought them to him. After an hour of mind numbing conversation, he was finishing his sixth drink and awaited the seventh to be brought to him. He had begun to feel the effects of the alcohol after the third drink, and that hazy fuzzy feeling was intensifying. He was probably drinking too much too fast, but right then and there he couldn't care less. _Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll black out and not have to deal with any of this bullshit anymore_. When the seventh drink arrived, Quatre grabbed it from the table before Duo could. He turned to his friend and glared lazily at him.

"Duo, I think you've had enough for tonight." Quatre stated with concern.

"Quatre, its not like I'm driving home or anything." Duo slurred, "One more drink wont hurt."

Duo took the drink and downed it. He could feel the eyes of the others around the table on him and he shuddered. He hated it when people stared at him. This was a perfect time for him to go to the bathroom. He had been holding it for too long, and he could no longer wait.

He stood, and Quatre stood as well. "Is something wrong Duo?"

"Yeah, I need to take a piss." He scowled and left the table to head to the bathroom. He approached the urinal when he entered and relieved himself, leaning his head against the wall as he did. He was starting to wonder if he should have listened to Quatre and forwent that seventh drink. The world around him was getting blurry. He finished and zipped up, not noticing the man leaning against the wall beside him until he went to wash his hands.

The man was tall and had spiked black hair with blond highlights. Duo could see that he was ripped, and the look in his eyes sent shivers down Duo's spine. "Hey, you're pretty hot you know." Duo's heart was racing in his chest. He had drank way too much to deal with something like this, so he rolled his eyes and made to move past the man. The man stopped him with a hand on his chest. "Whoa whoa whoa. Where do you think you're going hot stuff? You can't just tease someone like that and not put out." The man purred.

Duo reacted instinctively, swinging at the man in an attempt to free himself. The man ducked and pushed Duo against the bathroom wall. "Oh, you're a feisty one aren't you? Do you like it rough? I like it when they like it rough." The man hissed into his ear, snaking his hand down Duo's torso. The braided man attempted to push him off, but a hand grabbed his braid and pulled hard. Duo hissed in pain, feeling the mans hand slip into his pants. There was another yank of his braid and pain shot through Duo's head as the hand wrapped around his member and began to stroke. Duo felt dizzy from the alcohol and pain. He felt helpless, pinned against the wall by a stranger who was molesting him. _When will this pain end? Why cant all of this bullshit just end?_ He felt tears escape and fall down his cheeks.

"Whats wrong fairy slut? Are you crying because you know that this is what you want, what you deserve?" The man growled, licking up and down Duo's neck. Duo struggled, but was only held onto stronger, the mans hand tightening painfully against his throbbing member. "I know you like this, because of how hard you are in my hand."

Duo clenched his eyes shut and tried to stay calm. If he just let it happen, it would be over quickly and he could forget about it, like he always did. He was so wrapped up in the fog of the alcohol, he didn't notice when someone else entered the bathroom. Suddenly that hand in his pants was gone, and the weight of the man was gone. He slumped against the wall and slid down it. His eyes were still closed tight, and he took a chance in opening them. The man that had been molesting him was on the floor, knocked out. There was a man beside him calling his name, drawing him out of the fog.

"Duo! Are you okay?!" Heero exclaimed, fear and concern in his voice.

Duo looked up at him. "I-I..." before he could say another word, the world went black as the alcohol and stress overtook him.

End Chapter 4


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Duo woke with a pounding headache. He groaned and opened his eyes, shielding them from the light streaming in through the slightly parted curtains. He took note that he was in his own bed, which he was grateful for. Last time he had woken up with an equally horrible headache he was in a hospital bed. At least this time he was somewhere comfortable. He strained his brain to remember how he had gotten home, but the only thing he could remember was what had happened in the bathroom of the pub. He shuddered at the thought. He pushed it to the back of his mind as the smell of bacon drifted into his bedroom. Who the heck was cooking bacon? He again wondered exactly how he had gotten home and into his bed. He climbed out of the bed and wandered to the kitchen to investigate. What he found filled him with shock and unease. Heero was standing in the kitchen at the stove cooking eggs and bacon. The other man noticed his presence and turned to him.

"Oh, hey. You're awake," Heero smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"As good as I can I guess, considering." What the heck was Heero doing in his kitchen? He hardly knew the guy and there he was cooking like they were good friends. "Um, not to be rude but why are you here cooking breakfast in my kitchen?" He awkwardly asked.

"Well, after last night Quatre and I brought you here. He was concerned about you but couldn't stay and make sure you were okay so I offered to stay." Heero answered, his attention on the food cooking in front of him.

"Mhmm." Duo watched him anxiously.

"Breakfast will be done soon. I hope you don't mind that I used some ingredients from your kitchen."

"Sure, its cool." He wondered what was going through Quatre's head, leaving some strange man here with him while he was passed out. He did not need anyone to keep an eye on him; he was perfectly capable of taking care of himself. He fully intended to give Quatre a piece of his mind, but first he needed to shower and relieve his bladder. "I'm going to go to the bathroom now," he stated, his voice thick with the weariness he was feeling inside.

"Okay." Heero smiled at him and Duo turned away to steal away to the bathroom. He noticed that he was still wearing the pants from last night and the thought of it made him shudder again. He stripped down and relieved himself before jumping in the shower. He took extra long in an attempt to wash off the filth of the events of the previous night. He did not want to think about it, but the thoughts refused to be pushed into the back of his mind. He was willing to admit that he had been careless, thinking that something like that would never happen to him again, and he might have gone too far with the alcohol. That did not change the fact that he felt like Quatre was using the situation against him. Why was Quatre so intent to hook him up with this guy? What could possibly be so special about him that makes him different than any of the other guys Duo had been with? To Duo, Heero was just another guy who was going to hurt him in the end. He felt like Quatre wasn't thinking about what he wanted.

When he was finished with the shower, he dried himself off and re-braided his damp hair. He wrapped a towel around his waist and noticed the pair of pants on the floor. He could barely stand to even look at them. He snatched them up and threw them in the trash, wanting to forget all about that part of last night. He headed to his room, throwing on a pair of black jeans and a black t shirt before making his way to the kitchen. Heero was no longer there, but he could hear the clink of metal on ceramic. He grabbed a plate and a glass from the cupboard and grabbed some of the food. He filled the glass with tap water and headed to the dinning room. Moving around the table, he sat down across from Heero. They sat eating in silence; Duo kept his eyes on the plate in front of him. It felt awkward sitting in his flat across from a stranger. What was he even supposed to say? He did not care to find out anything about the man, and did not feel like even talking about trivial things such as the weather.

"I hope it tastes okay. I didn't over cook any of it, did I?"

"No, its fine. Thank you." Duo lifted his head and gazed into deep and intense cobalt blue eyes. His heart skipped a beat and he swallowed the lump in his throat. He had never really taken the time to actually look at the other man. He had just brushed him off without a second thought, but now Duo saw the handsome features prominent in his face and those striking blue eyes.

"Is something wrong?" Heero inquired, concern flashing in his face.

"Oh! Um, no. I uh...thank you for cooking." He needed a reason to get away and he remembered he needed to berate Quatre. "I need to step out to make a phone call actually." Duo pushed back his emotions and stood up to take his plate to the kitchen.

"Okay. I can clean up the kitchen, so don't worry yourself with it." Heero smiled.

Duo gave him a skeptical look before responding slowly, "Thanks." After he had placed his plate in the kitchen sink, he grabbed his cell phone from the bedside table in his room and slipped into the hall. He planned to give Quatre tongue-lashing. He walked down the hallway and to the stairwell before making his call.

"Quatre Winner."

"Hey Quatre." Duo's voice was dripping with malice.

"Duo! Oh it's so good to hear from you. Are you doing okay after last night? I'm sorry I couldn't be there right now; I have a case I need to wrap up early this morning."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks. Actually, I was calling to talk to you about something."

"Oh, what is it?"

"Can you please tell me why I woke up this morning to a man I hardly know cooking breakfast in my kitchen?"

"Oh, did Heero make you breakfast? That is so sweet, I didn't even ask him to do that."

"Quatre," Duo growled.

"I'm sorry Duo, I couldn't stay and I didn't want you to be alone after what happened last night. I brought my discord up with the guys and Heero offered to look after you."

He was calling them 'The Guys' now? When did Quatre suddenly become great friends with them? "The guys?" He spat, irritation lacing his words.

"You know, Trowa, Heero, and Wufei."

He rolled his eyes. Quatre could be so oblivious sometimes. "Whatever. Listen, I really appreciate the gesture but next time I think I'd be better off on my own. And would you PLEASE stop trying to make something happen between me and that guy?"

"Duo, I don't know what you're talking about. Oh! While I have you on the phone I need to tell you about something."

Duo sighed inwardly at his failed attempt to get Quatre off his back. "Yeah, what's up?"

"I arranged for us to have dinner at that new restaurant downtown."

"Let me guess, there will be guests going with us."

"Of course. The guys will all be there too. It'll be a casual dinner."

"What the hell Quatre? Why do you keep calling them 'the guys', and since when did you become so buddy buddy with them?" He couldn't stand hearing Quatre talk about them like they were good friends; like he had known them for years. Panic began to rise inside of Duo. What he loosing his best friend to complete strangers?

"Duo please! Please do this for me. I really like Trowa and I want to get to know him and his friends more. Plus, it wouldn't hurt to do something nice for the guy who saved you twice."

Duo groaned. "This isn't like some kind of date is it?"

"Of course not. It will be the five of us enjoying friendly conversation. Please Duo!" Quatre pleaded.

Duo sighed. "Fine, but you owe me for this."

"Thank you so much Duo! I'll see you tonight at six. Bye!"

Duo stared at his phone after the call ended. Did he really just agree to go hang out with a hand full of guys who were practically strangers? The idea filled him with apprehension, but he didn't want to let his best friend down. He suddenly remembered that Heero was still in his flat.

"Shit!" He sighed and made his way back into the flat. When he entered, he heard the tap in the kitchen turn off. He went to the entryway of the kitchen and observed Heero washing the breakfast dishes. Heero looked up and gave him a small smile.

"Is everything okay?" He asked as he looked away and down at the dishes, continuing the task at hand.

"Yeah, I just had to call my manager about my things." Duo kicked himself mentally. Why was he even bothering to justify himself to this guy? He really did need to actually call Hildie though, that much as true. Duo hesitated before mumbling, "I, uh, wanted to thank you for...everything I guess." He was so cold-hearted that he could not thank someone for going out of their way to help a complete stranger.

Heero looked up to answer, "Forget about it. I'm just glad you're feeling better after everything."

"Yeah, thanks" Duo began to walk away, feeling awkward and uneasy about it all.

"Oh, I'll have to get going when I'm done with these. I have some errands to run," Heero called out as Duo walked to the living room.

"Yeah, that's cool," Duo shouted back as he sat down at his drawing desk. He pulled a pad of paper, sketching pencils and colored chalk out of the drawer and spread them out. He felt the intense need to draw something, to get all of his pent up emotions out on paper. He closed his eyes and began to move the pencil and chalks across the paper. He focused on his emotions and let them flow out onto the paper, loosing himself in the art. He had lost track of time when he was pulled out of his inner world by a soft touch on his shoulder that made him jump. He spun around in his chair to see Heero standing behind him, giving him a quizzical look.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I just wanted to let you know that I'm heading out. I hope I wasn't a bother."

"Don't worry about it." Duo waved his hand to dismiss the statement.

"Okay, well I guess I'll be seeing you later tonight. Until then." Heero smiled and exited the flat. Duo watched him as he left, fighting to push down the emotions that were sprouting up inside of him. _Don't let him get to you Duo. Don't even think about it. You're better off alone where no one can hurt you; where you can't hurt anyone else_. He shook his head to clear away the thoughts and turned back to his art. He glared at the paper for a long time feeling frustrated, lost and overwhelmed with everything that had happened the past few months. From the fight at the bar over a month ago to the incident at the pub. Everything was starting to wear on him, and he wanted to hide from the world for the next thousand years. Sighing, he pushed the paper and art supplies aside before placing his head in his arms on the desk. He tried not to think about what had happened last night or remember all of the other times people had taken advantage of him like that. He was a different person now; he wasn't weak like he used to be. He was strong and he refused to let anyone else hurt him or let anything get the best of him. He kept telling himself that, but despite his inner thoughts he still found himself crying. Why the heck was he crying? Men do NOT cry.

End Chapter 5


	6. Chapter 6

**Trigger Warning: This chapter contains dark themes and actions that may be upsetting to some readers.**

Chapter 6

It was five o'clock and Duo had spent the majority of his day curled on the couch watching television. He found himself glaring at the mirror in front of him with little time left before he needed to leave. The tear streaked face was gone, washed away with cold water and the passage of the day. In its place was a stoic and emotionless scowl. He sulked, looking himself up and down. He had donned a pair of tight black jeans and a black elbow length button-up that he had tucked in. The top two buttons had been left unbuttoned, giving him a clean yet casual look. He had contemplated changing his earring, but decided against it. He always wore the hanging cross, why change it for tonight? Duo huffed; why did he even care how he looked? It was just a casual get together with a bunch of strangers after all.

"Ugg!" He walked away from the mirror and out to the hallway to pull on a pair of semi casual boots. He snagged his wallet, phone, cigarettes and keys before heading out and locking up. The instant he was outside, he lit a cigarette and took a drag before moving to his car. He started the engine and pulled out into traffic, heading to his destination.  
He had arrived at the restaurant with only five minutes to spare as traffic had been slow. Duo sat in his car for a moment, thinking about how long the next hour or so was going to feel. Why was he doing this again? He reminded himself that he was doing it for Quatre, and he needed to get moving as to not be late. He left the car, locking it on his way toward the restaurant. He spotted Quatre almost instantly waiting outside by the entrance.

"Duo!" The man rushed up to him and embraced him in a tight hug. Duo hugged his friend back before they released each other. "I've been so worried about you. Come on, lets get a table." Quatre pulled him into the restaurant. "Look guys, Duo's finally here!" The blond chimed as he let go of Duo and stepped up to the host stand.

Duo eyed Heero and Trowa, taking note that they were missing someone. "So, where's Wufei?"

"He couldn't make it tonight. There was an issue at work and he had to cancel on short notice," Trowa answered casually. Duo blinked suspiciously. Why did he have this feeling like this had all been an elaborate set up by Quatre? _Oh, wait! That's because it probably is since that's totally something Quatre would do_. He was not sure why he was so surprised by this happening.

"Come on guys, our table is ready." Quatre motioned for the three men to follow him and the hostess. Duo noticed that the restaurant was busy. It was a Saturday night after all. There was no way they could have gotten a table that quickly, unless Quatre had called ahead and had already known they were going to be short a person. The group was seated at a square table with four chairs. Duo found himself not surprisingly seated with Quatre and Heero and either side of him. The hostess handed everyone a menu and informed them that their server would be right with them. The four men looked over the menus in silence and when their waitress arrived they placed their food and drink orders. As the waitress walked away with the menus in hand, Trowa turned to Quatre.

"So Quatre, what have you been so busy with lately?" The taller man inquired.

"Well, I've been working on settling a big case out of court..." Quatre dove into a discussion about the court case with Trowa following his every word intently.

The waitress returned with their drinks and informed them that their food would be out shortly. Quatre and Trowa continued their discussion, leaving an awkward silence between Duo and Heero. Duo took a long drink of his Long Island and gazed down into his drink. This was ridiculousness. This was obviously a set up, a double date planned by Quatre. Duo felt irritated with his friend.

"So, Duo," Heero cleared his throat. Duo glanced up with a skeptical look on his face. "What got you into art and music?"

Duo took another long drink before answering impatiently, "I've always had a talent for art, and music has always been an integral part of my life." He felt himself relax thanks to the alcohol and he finished his off his drink, catching a wait staff's attention to order another. "They have both been a huge emotional release for me." Duo stopped himself from saying anymore, fearing he had already said too much. Why had he even said that? Something about Heero made him feel nonthreatening, and this was unsettling to Duo. His second drink arrive and was set down in front of him; he took an even longer drink than before, finishing half of the beverage. He cleared his throat. "What about you? What kind of work do you do?" He did not really care what Heero did, but he wanted to steer the conversation away from himself.

Heero nursed his beer, "Well, I'm the lead software developer for Oz Corp. You might have heard of it."

Duo's eyes grew wide. "Yeah, I've heard of it. It's only one of the leading companies in technology." Heero was a lead software developer? That must mean he was extremely intelligent. Duo began to wonder if, maybe, Heero wasn't such a bad person after all.

Heero nodded. "It may not sound very exciting developing software, but I really enjoy the work."

Duo gave a small smile. _What the hell is wrong with you? Wipe that stupid fucking smile off your damn face and get your shit together!_ He cleared his throat awkwardly and slammed the rest of his drink down. "I need to use the restroom." He stood and made his way through the busy restaurant to the bathroom. Once inside he stood in front of one of the sinks, leaning over it with his hands on the counter. He stared back at the pale face looking him in the mirror.

"What the hell are you even doing here?" He asked himself. "Do you think that chit chatting with this guy is going to change anything? Pull yourself the fuck together!" He shook his head to clear any unwanted thoughts and made his way back to the table. The food had arrived and the other three men had already begun eating. He sat down in his seat and took his silverware from its place on the table.

As he took a bite, Quatre turned to him and asked, "Are you okay, Duo?"

Duo stopped mid bite. Why was everyone always asking him if he was okay? He was sick and tired of it. He set his fork down on his plate and took a deep breath and exhaled in a huff. "You now, Quatre, I'm about fucking fed up with everyone asking me if I'm fucking okay all the fucking time," he ground out through clenched teeth.

The other men stopped eating, gawking at Duo. Quatre stuttered, "Oh, I-I'm sorry Duo. I just-"

"Just forget about it," Duo snapped. He pushed his chair out and grabbed his belongings from the table.

"Duo, please. I'm sorry!" Quatre grabbed for Duo from where he was sitting, but Duo ignored him and strode out of the restaurant. He moved quickly to his car, climbing in and slamming the door before driving off to his flat.

He was sick and tired of being smothered. Why could no one accept the fact that he was fine and did not need anyone's sympathy? All he wanted to do now was to get home and drown everything out. When he arrived home, he stormed into his flat angrily. As he walked into the kitchen his cell phone rang. He check it and saw that it was Quatre. He scowled and denied the call. Tossing his phone on the counter, he pulled out a shot glass as well as a bottle of absinthe from the freezer. He planned to drown everything out as quickly as he possibly could. His cell rang again and he rolled his eyes. He poured himself a shot and downed it quickly. The phone went quite for a moment before ringing again. Quatre could call as many times as he wanted, but Duo had no intention of answering. He took another shot, ignoring the nagging ringing. There was silence again, and Duo sighed in relief. He swirled the alcohol around in the bottle before pouring another shot. His phone rang once again, and his blood boiled. Could Quatre not take a hint? He angrily snatched the phone up and launched it against the kitchen wall forcefully, shattering it. He threw his third shot down and staggered to the bathroom.

Emotions swirled around inside of him. Anger, fear, frustration, guilt, shame and a sense of hopelessness. He wanted more than anything to not feel any of it. He rummaged through the drawer under the sink until he found what he was looking for. He picked up a pocket knife from the back of the drawer and stared at it before leaning aginst the wall, sliding down it until he was sitting with his knees bent and his feet flat on the floor. He flipped the blade out and examined it. This wasn't his first time he had been here, sitting on the bathroom floor with a knife in his hand, but it had been years since he had cut himself. Part of him was afraid to get sucked back into it, but the other part yerned to feel the sharp pain of the blade. The pain would make it better; it would take all the emotional pain away. He could get lost with every cut, falling into a numbing abyss.

He felt the effects of the alcohol setting in quickly so he pushed up his sleeves and presented his left arm out in front of himself. He placed the blade on his forearm and pulled the blade across his skin hard and slow. Pain radiated from the wound as he dragged the blade. Adrenalin and a sense of satisfaction filled him from the pain and the sight of blood. He placed the blade on his arm once again. There was no turning back now. He had begun and he could not stop now. He wanted more, craving it like a drug. He proceeded to make an equally deep cut parallel to the first, continuing until there was a row of gashes lined up perfectly like a ladder. He had ended up making ten lacerations in total, beginning at the crease of his elbow and ending at his wrist.

The braided man admired his handy work, watching the blood flow and drip to the tile of the bathroom floor. He had forgotten how good it felt to cut and he wondered why he had stopped so long ago. He took a shaky breath and relaxed against the wall. His wounded arm lay beside him, bleeding onto the floor. He sat there for a long time until the flow of blood began to taper off and clot. He looked down in a daze from the euphoria and alcohol.

"Back at it again," he chuckled. "What a fucking weakling. I cant even handle the simplest shit." He sighed and stood shakily. He quickly washed his wounded arm and wrapped it in gauze that he had found in the first aid kit under the sink. When he was finished, he staggered into his room, exhausted from the past few days. He fell onto the bed and passed out.

End Chapter 6

 **Authors Note:** I do not condone self harm. I believe that it is a serious issue that should not be taken lightly. If you feel like hurting yourself, I urge you to talk to someone you feel close to about it. The pain may not go away instantly, but I know from personal experience that having someone listen can be immensely helpful.


	7. Chapter 7

**Warning: This chapter contains dark themes that may be upsetting to some readers.**

Chapter 7

When Duo woke the next morning, his head felt like someone had driven over it with a steam roller and he had a knot in his stomach. He groaned and rolled over, wincing in pain. He looked down at his arm and remembered what he had done last night. Guilt overcame him, driving hard the fact that he had not only let himself down but his few friends as well. How was he supposed to face the after this? How was he going to cover this up so that no one found out?

"What the fuck was I thinking? Quatre is going to kill me if he finds out." He closed his eyes and tried not to think about it. In truth, the only thing he had been thinking last night was about the pain. The pain that always came back to him. It did not matter how much he fought it, and it did not matter how long it had been in hiding. The pain always ended up coming back, creeping in unnoticed to anyone even himself before crashing down hard shattering his world. He laid there for awhile feeling like he was drowning, suffocating from the world around him. His stomach tightened, reminding him that he had not eaten anything since breakfast the day before. He wearily rolled out of bed and made his way to the kitchen in search of food. He found the left-overs from yesterday in the refrigerator and microwaved them before scarfing them down. He admitted to himself that they were not half bad the second time around. When he finished, the pain in his head roared loudly demanding attention. He popped a few Tylenol for his headach to quiet it. With his belly full and his headache soon to be gone, he headed to the bathroom to relieve his screaming bladder.

Duo entered the bathroom and flipped the light switch. He froze at the sight on the floor before him. Drying blood coated the floor where he had been sitting. There was a lot of blood; he did not remember there being so much. It looked like a chicken had been killed and bled out onto the floor. The pocket knife lay open beside the mess, mocking him. It was calling him to come back and fall back into a twisted cycle of cutting.. Duo swallowed, feeling the itch to cut again. He began to justify the reasons he should do it . He had already started cutting; it was not like doing it again would make a difference. He could make just one more cut to feed the fire that was burning inside of him and walk away from it forever. Duo knew that one more cut would not be enough though; it was never enough. He shook his head of the thoughts and turned to relieve himself. As he washed his hands, he glanced down at the blood and knife again.

 _You know you want to do it. Do you feel that? Do you feel that overwhelming need rising up inside of you?_

He closed his eyes and hung his head. "No, I can't do it again. I've already taken it too far." He shut the water off, turned and left the bathroom leaving the evidence of the night before untouched. He found himself gazing off into space in front of his wardrobe. He needed to find something that allowed him to cover his arm up. Just thinking about it made him want to hide inside of the closet. He grabbed a burgundy turtle neck and threw it on along with a pair of jeans. He disregarded the fact that it was the middle of summer; the season had been mild so far and he would be in his studio all day anyway so what he wore would not matter. Duo turned to the mirror that hung on the back of his bedroom door then proceeded out to the living room to gather his things and to leave. That was when he remembered his cell phone. _Shit!_

He had been so hungry and hungover that he had not even remembered or noticed the mess on the kitchen floor of what was left of his cell phone. _Fuck! I completely forgot about that. I'll have to go out and get a new one now. Fuck!_ He was far from any mood to interact with strangers, but having a cell phone was a necessity. He grumpily grabbed his things and headed out the door, irritated with the way his day had started.

xxx

Duo walked out of the cell phone store with a new phone in hand. He leaned against his car as the device synced with the backup data from his old phone that he had diligently stored online. As he waited, he tried not to think of the smashed remains on the kitchen floor or the mess of blood in the bathroom. When the device finished, it binged signifying a notification. He scrolled through his texts and cursed. Quatre had messaged him over twenty times. The messages ranged from Quatre excessively apologizing to pleading with Duo to call him. The braided man climbed into his car and sighed. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the head rest.

 _Why does everything have to get so fucked up? Why couldn't shit just have stayed the way they were?_ He had been content living his life, pushing the past back and forgetting everything. Now everything, his past included, was crashing down on him. Anxiety filled him; he knew he needed to call Quatre back, but he did not want to face his issue. He reluctantly dialed his best friends number and waited apprehensively.

"Duo!" Came the answer from the other line when the ringing stopped.

"Hey Quatre," Duo greeted sheepishly.

"Oh my god, I've been worried about you all night! What happened? You never answered my calls or messages."

"Well, there was a little accident with my phone and I had to replace it this morning. Sorry about all that." He cringed at the lie; he hated lying to Quatre.

There was a relieved sigh from Quatre. "I understand. Life happens. Are you -" Quatre stopped mid-sentence, hesitation in his voice.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks Quatre, and I'm sorry about what happened last night at the restaurant. Things have just been stressful." If only that was the half of it.

"I completely understand, and I accept your apology. Did you want to get together for lunch today and talk about it? Just the two of us."

"Ah, I cant today. I need to get to my studio and work on a few things." It was only a half lie. Duo did have work at his studio to do, but it was not anything he desperately needed to get done.

"Well that's okay, we can bring lunch over to you. I'll pick up some Chinese to go."

"We?" Duo asked, fearing what the blond man would say next.

"Yeah, Trowa and I. He stayed with me last night because I was so upset about what happened and I was too worried about you to be alone."

Duo felt a pang of guilt but pushed it aside. It was sounding like Quatre had a thing for Trowa, and it bothered him somewhat. "So, are you and him a thing now?" There was a bite to his tone.

"Oh, what? No!" Quatre chuckled nervously. "We're just friends, for now."

"Yeah, sure." Sarcasm seeped through Duo's voice.

"For real Duo, I wouldn't lie to you about something like this. So, is it okay if we stop by with lunch?"

"Yeah, sure." He felt guilty. Quatre would not lie to him about something important like that, but Duo had already lied to him once and he knew he was going to do it again and again.

"Okay! I'll see you then. Later."

The line went silent and Duo looked at his phone. He felt a heavy weight on his heart and a twisted knot was forming in his stomach. Now not only did he have to face his friend after last night like nothing had happened, he also had to deal with a stranger tagging along. He wondered again why everything always ended up being so screwed up. It was as if the universe was hell bent on making him suffer. When was he going to catch a break?

xxx

When Duo arrived at his studio he began looking around to find something to do. He was doing his best to try and keep his mind off of his anxieties. He believed that the more he pushed it all down it would disappear. It was like when you keep adding garbage to the trash bin, but the more you add the more it fills up until it cannot hold anymore and begins to overflow onto the floor. This was exactly how he felt.

Duo was in the middle of organizing his unfinished art pieces when the sound of the lift loudly opening rang through his studio. He took a deep breath and hoped that lunch went smoothly. He did not feel like he had had enough time to think alone, and the pressure to put up a convincingly happy face weighed on him. He stood and turned at the sound of footsteps behind him.

"Hey Quatre. Trowa." Duo nodded in recognition to the taller man. Trowa nodded in return.

"Hey Duo. Sorry we're late, the restaurant was busier than I had anticipated." Quatre moved to set the food on the table beside Duo before giving him a quick hug.

"No worries. How about we sit down and eat?"

"Sounds good." Quatre beamed like there was not a single care in the world.

Duo grabbed the bag of food and moved it over to the table that he had cleared off and placed chairs around. They all sat down and once the food had been dished out they ate. They ate in silence for a moment before Quatre spoke up.

"So Duo, what happened to your phone last night?"

"Oh," Duo set his chopsticks down. He had been so focused on staying busy and so wrapped up in his thoughts that he had forgotten to think of a good lie. "Well, funny story actually," he laughed and scratched his temple. "I was kind of tipsy last night when I got home and dropped it in the toilet. Heh." It was a weak sounding lie, but it was the best he could come up with on the spot. An image of blood dripping onto the floor flashed in his mind and his cheerful demeanor faltered. Why did he have to think about that now? He pushed it back, adding to the trash that was already there.

Quatre shook his head but laughed before returning to his food. Trowa had been silent since they had arrived and his presence made Duo even more anxious. What the heck was he supposed to say to him? Why did him and his friends have to come into Duo's life and change everything? What Duo really wanted to do was tell Trowa and his stupid friends to leave him and Quatre alone. He wanted to tell them to get out of his like so that it could be like it was before they met. Something was stopping him from saying these things though. Duo could see a glimmer in Quatre's eyes when he looked at Trowa that he had never seen before. He felt a stabbing pain in his chest and worries flooded his mind. Worries that Quatre would soon replace him with Trowa and then he would be alone. He was not sure if he could handle loosing his best friend after everything that had happened.

The three men finished their meals and began to clean up. Duo gathered the trash and threw it away. "Thank you both for bringing lunch with you."

"Any time Duo." Quatre bounded over to him and wrapped him in a hug. Duo let a small smile slip onto his face, but he was filled with fear that it was too late for things to change and go back to the way they were. "Well, we should head out. I need to drop Trowa off at his place and get ready for tonight."

"Okay. Whats happening tonight?" He inquired as he wiped down the cleared off table.

"I'm meeting a few of my sisters for dinner. We're discussing plans for Quaterine's wedding."

"Oh, right." He had been so wrapped up in his own issues that he had completely forgotten about that. "Well, have fun!"

"Bye! I'll talk to you later." The two men stepped onto the lift and were soon riding it down.

Duo sighed and slumped down into a chair. He was mentally exhausted. He had already been feeling overwhelmed and Quatre coming over with Trowa had simply added salt to his wounds. All he wanted to do now was go home and sleep, but he was so kindly reminded by his brain about the mess' he had made. He did not have the energy to deal with them. It all felt like too much to deal with. He wished that he could make it all disappear. He glanced at the clock and an idea came to him. It was only one o'clock, but it was five o'clock somewhere.

End Chapter 7


	8. Chapter 8

**Warning: This chapter contains multiple mature themes and actions. This chapter is rated R.**

Chapter 8

Duo had driven outside of town to a pub he used to frequent years ago. It was not famous or anything special, but it had always been a good place for him to find someone else looking for a fun night. He was sat at the bar nursing a Long Island, his favorite drink. It was his third drink in the past hour and he had almost finished it off. A nice buzz was running through his body. He had to admit that despite the buzz, he was a little irritated with his choice of dress. Normally he would come out dressed in something tight and revealing to tease the other bar patrons. As he had been opposed to going home, he had settled with the jeans and turtle neck he had left the house in earlier that morning. He did not feel that it was a horrible outfit, but it definitely did not scream his intentions like he wanted. He had always believed that if he wanted people to notice him, he would have to scream through his style. He had little faith that he was going to roping in someone dressed the way he was.

He finished his drink and was about to get up to leave when a tall ginger haired man sat down next to him. The bar only had a few other patrons and there were plenty of open seats for the man to sit in. Duo's eyebrows perked up and he back tracked his thoughts of leaving.

"Hey bar-keep, I'll take a rum on the rocks and another drink for my friend here." The man called out to the bar tender. He turned to Duo, a small smile on his face. "I hope you don't mind."

Duo smiled back, "Not at all."

The drinks came and the man slid a hundred pound note to the bartender. He waved the man off when he was offered his change. Duo rolled his eyes internally at the action. To Duo, the man was just another tool trying to flash his money around for people to see how much he had.

"My name is Treize, yours?"

"Solo," he answered, taking a gulp of his new drink. He was starting to feel great and the prospect of a fun night filled him with excitement.

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you Solo."

"Likewise."

Treize sipped his rum. "I don't think I've seen you around here before, are you new in town?"

"Nah, I'm from out of town. Traveling for work."

"Oh, what kind of work?"

Duo smiled. He was in his element now. Creating an alter ego was his talent and he enjoyed doing it. "Nothing special. I do data analysis for big companies. Boring work to be honest." He was lying through his teeth, but he was filled with confidence.

"Sounds exciting."

Duo chuckled, "Yeah, yourself?"

"Oh. Well, I'm the Chairman of the Board for Oz Corp."

Duo choked on his drink, not expecting to hear something that hit so close to home.

"Hey, are you okay?" Treize patted him on the back.

Duo cleared his throat, "Yeah sorry. Wrong pipe."

"No problem."

Duo took another drink, starting to doubt that this was a good idea. The Chairman of the Board for Oz Corp? That was where Heero worked; was this guy even telling the truth though or was he just another guy trying to make him seem more important than he really was?

"Hey, are you okay? You got quiet all of a sudden." Treize inquired.

"Oh!" Duo looked up at the other man and he felt a tightness inside of him. The man was hot. He had short ginger hair and pale blue eyes. His chiseled features were stunning. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"How about you and I blow this joint and go somewhere more comfortable?" Treize smiled coyly at him.

"Yeah, sure." The words were out of his mouth before he new it. It could be risky leaving to hook up somewhere else, but the alcohol was starting to get to his head. _Fuck it. This is what I came here to do._

The two men downed their drinks and stood to leave. Duo followed Treize out of the pub and ventured out into the parking lot. "Would you care to join me for a ride?" Treize stopped at a red Lamborghini, a smile playing on his lips.

 _Damn, this guy has to be loaded._

"Heh," Duo looked over to his own car. "Thanks, but I'd rather drive myself if that's cool. I can follow you?"

"Sure." Treize agreed comfortably, as if the idea did not bother him in the slightest.

"Thanks." Duo made his way to his own car and opened the door.

"That's a pretty nice ride you've got there."

Duo looked up and feigned innocence. "Yeah, got an inheritance from my grandfather." Treize nodded his head in acceptance of the lie. Both men climbed into their cars and started the engines. Duo followed Treize out of the parking lot and down the road. All the while he kept alert of his surroundings. This was not his first rodeo and he knew better than to let his guard down. He followed the other man through a small neighborhood and to a quaint cottage nestled at the end of a street. Unease filled him. He would have preferred a hotel room, but he had already come this far. He was not going to let a little fear stop him now. He pulled his car up beside Treize's and killed the engine. Both men stepped out into the light of the waning day. "This is your place?" Duo asked, shoving his phone and keys into his pockets.

"Yeah. It's my home away from home, when I need a break from the city life." Treize led the way to the front door, unlocking it and letting Duo in. The braided man stepped in and looked around. It was a nice house, bigger on the inside than it looked from outside but quaint. Nothing in particular screamed money to him from the entryway. Treize closed the door behind him and stepped around Duo.

"Please, make yourself at home. Would you like a drink?"

Duo stepped into the living room. "Uh, sure." He let his eyes gaze around the room and froze when he saw a particularly familiar painting on the wall. It was one of his paintings. Apprehension began to well up inside of him. Was it possible that Treize knew who he really was? He knew he did not try as hard to keep his face hidden as an artist like he did as a DJ, but at the same time he kept a fairly low profile.

"Sorry, the only thing I have right now is beer. I hope that's okay." Treize walked into the living room and held out a bottle. "Oh, do you like that painting?"

"Yeah, it's really interesting." Duo accepted the bottle, noticing the cap had already been removed for him. He hesitated to take a drink.

Treize stood beside him and took a swig of his beer. "I picked that up a few years ago. Well, actually, my secretary picked it up for me at my request. The artist is Aminon, have you heard of him?"

"Yeah, I've heard of him." He wondered what Treize would do if he knew that Aminon was Duo's pseudonym.

"He's huge right now. He recently had a charity exhibit and I was unfortunately unable to attend due to work abroad." Treize glanced at Duo. "Is that okay?" He nodded at the drink in Duo's hand. "I have another kind in the fridge if you'd prefer."

"Oh, no. This is fine thank you." Duo smiled and took a long drag from the bottle.

Treize moved to sit down on the couch and patted the cushion beside him, inviting Duo to sit down. The braided man accepted the offer and sat. "So, Solo, what kinds of things do you like to do for fun?"

"Hm, well I like to go out to clubs and stuff I guess." Duo took another drink, settling in and feeling more relaxed.

"Stuff eh? Have you been to any raves?"

"Yeah, I've been to a few raves." That was only half true. He had been to more raves than he could count and not only as the DJ.

"Have you dabbled into any experience altering substances, aside from alcohol?"

Duo had, but he was starting to worry about where this was going. Where exactly was Treize going with this? "A few, here and there."

"Have you ever tried cocaine?" There was a small glint in Treize's eyes.

"Um, no. I honestly haven't."

Treize set his drink down on the glass coffee table in front of them and pulled a small box from the middle of the table forward. He opened it and produced a small baggy filled with a white powder. "This is the purest coke you can get out there." Treize turned to Duo. "Would you like to try some?"

Duo hesitated; he had used ecstasy and LSD before but he had since kicked the habit. There was a time in his life where he had indulged in risky behaviors. He had turned to art and music a few years back and since then he had not touched any drugs.

"Don't worry, it's clean." Treize began to make lines on the table in front of them. He pulled a hundred pound note from his wallet and rolled it up into a cylinder. Without hesitation he snorted one of the lines. He turned and offered the rolled up note to Duo.

Duo wavered; it had been difficult for him to get clean all those years ago and he was afraid to get pulled back in again. However, he was desperate to have a good tie so he took the rolled up note from the other man.

"Don't stress; just make sure you inhale deep."

Duo nodded and leaned down to the table. He placed the note against his nostril and plugged the other with his free hand. A red light flashed inside of him; he asked himself what the heck he was doing. Without another moments hesitation he lined the bill up with the line like Treize had done and snorted the line.

"Like a champ." Treize clapped him on the back. He took the rolled note from Duo and snorted another line. He sat up when he was finished and offered the makeshift tube to Duo. The braided man declined and Treize shrugged nonchalantly before finishing the final line. This was a first for Duo, and he could not help but let worry seep into him. He finished off his beer and set it down on the table.

Treize sniffed and inquired, "Would you like another drink?"

"Sure, thanks." Duo answered. The other man left the room and returned with two more beers. He handed one to Duo before sitting back onto the couch and relaxing.

"Relax; there's nothing to worry about."

Duo nodded and did as suggested. The two men sat for the next half hour talking about trivial things like the weather, movies and television.

"Do you know that blond weather anchor on BBC News?" Duo slurred, finishing off his beer. He was beginning to feel extremely warm and the high from the cocaine was starting to kick in.

"No, I can't say that I've met her. Why?"

"Well, she's my best friends sister."

"Really? Interesting."

Duo cleared his throat, "May I use your restroom?"

"Of course. It's down the hall, past the bedroom. It's the second door on the left." Treize informed, taking a swig of his beer.

Duo stood shakily and made his way to the bathroom. Once he had relieved his bladder, the heat inside of him became overwhelming. His mind was fuzzy from the alcohol and cocaine, but he felt a sense of euphoria that was slowly intensifying. He finished up, washing his hands, and returned to the living room. "It's bloody hot in here."

"Oh? What do you say we go somewhere a bit more comfortable then?" Treize's eyes were on Duo, watching him closely as he stood in the entrance to the hallway.

"Yeah, that sounds good," Duo agreed drunkenly.

Treize finished the remainder of his drink before standing and leading Duo to the bedroom. The braided man took note of how simply decorated it was as he made his way to the bed, sitting down on the edge and falling back. He closed his eyes; he was starting to feel really good. Treize sat down beside him and relaxed. He shifted so that he was positioned to better admire Duo. "Are you still feeling warm?" The taller man softly ran his hand along the outside of Duo's thigh, sending an electric jolt through Duo.

"Yeah," Duo stated bluntly, feeling a warmth growing in his groin.

"Well, why don't we do something about that." Treize leaned in and pressed his lips against Duo's. His fingers teased the skin that had been exposed along Duo's belt line. The braided man inhaled sharply and Treize slipped his tongue into the other mans mouth. Duo moaned, letting his hands come up to rest on strong arms. He let the feeling of Treize's tongue exploring his mouth wash away everything else. The world and all of its problems became a distant memory. Treize kissed him deeply, sliding his hand up Duo's shirt to play with his nipples. A tiny whimper escaped from Duo that made Treize smirk. Treize pulled away from the kiss, moving so that he was on top of Duo straddling his waist. "What do you say we get rid of this pesky shirt?"

"Uh huh," Duo answered breathlessly.

Treize grabbed the hem of Duo's shirt and pulled it up over his head before throwing it aside. He noticed the bandage on Duo's arm and leaned in to lick and kiss the other mans neck. Treize slid his hands up Duo's arms and let them rest just below thin wrists. "Hmm, what happened to your arm?"

"Uh, I, uh." Duo was finding it hard to think. His mind was overwhelmed with the way Treize was making him feel. "It was a moving accident."

"Oh?" Treize nipped at his neck eliciting a gasp. "You know," he sat up. "You're a shitty liar when you're high." He took Duo's left arm and began to unwrap the bandage.

"Please, don't." Duo weakly pleaded.

Treize gave him a skeptical look and continued to unwrap. Duo clenched his eyes shut and turned his head away. He wanted to feel good, not remember all the pain and chaos in his life. The pain inside was like a glass of water filled to the brim, threatening to spill over. He fought back tears. Why was Treize doing this, and why was Duo not stopping him? The braided man had no answer to either question.

"Is this why you came out tonight?" Treize softly brushed his fingers across the cuts he had uncovered.  
Duo bit his lip, wanting to just disappear from existence. He felt exposed knowing that someone had seen and found out about his dirty little secret. He felt a gentle hand grasp his chin and turn his head back.

"Hey, look at me."

Duo opened his eyes and looked into Treize's. He saw a swirl of emotions there, too many to decipher. He wondered what Treize was thinking. Did he think that Duo was messed up in the head and a waste of space and not worth his time? Would he use Duo and throw him away like everyone else did? It was ironic that Duo had every intention of doing the same thing when the night started, but now he was one hundred percent focused on the pain inside.

"Is it really that bad?" Treize asked softly. Duo did not answer, but a single tear slipped out and slid down the side of his face instead. It was a silent answer to the question and Treize reached up to wipe the tear away. "Hey, don't worry about it. I can make it all go away." Treize leaned back in and stole another deep kiss, slowly pulling Duo out of the dark depths he had fallen back into. The taller man's hands worked on the button of Duo's jeans, brushing his fingers across the hair that poked out. He pulled out of the kiss and sat up, rocking his hips against Duo's.

Duo inhaled sharply, feeling their strained erections rub against each other. He squirmed under Treize, wanting to move onto better things. Treize chuckled and bent down to lick and bite Duo's nipples. He ran his nails down Duo's arms harshly, scratching the cuts made there. Duo gasped in pain and bucked his hips against Treize.

"Oh?" Treize moved to Duo's ear. "Is that what it is? Do you like pain?" He wrapped his hand around Duo's forearm and squeezed tight. The braided man groaned and strained against him. The pain radiated from Duo's arm, but there was more than pain. There was excitement; the same feeling that he got when he was cutting. "Tell me, do you like the pain?" Treize asked seductively. Duo did not answer and in turn Treize painfully tightened his grip. Duo cried out, starting to fight against the other man. He enjoyed pain, but this felt like torture. "You can't hide the truth, Duo."

Duo's eyes grew big and he stared into deep blue orbs. Treize smiled. "That's right, I've known who you are the entire time." He squeezed tightly again, eliciting another cry of pain. "Admit it Duo, you like it. You're body doesn't lie. Say it."

"Ah! Y-yes! Please..."

Treize chuckled and released the arm. Duo was panting; his heart was pounding against his chest. He was more aroused than he ever remembered being, and some deep dark part of him wanted the physical torture to continue. Treize moved off of him and rid them both of clothing. He stepped between Duo's legs and grabbed the erect member standing up before him, stroking it slowly.

"Nnnn!" Duo pushed up against Treize's hand, eager for more. He felt a slick finger push against his entrance.

"Relax Duo. You'll feel even better in a minute."

The braided man took a deep shaky breath and willed his body to relax. He had let go of complete control, wanting nothing more than to feel Treize inside of him. The finger slipped inside of him and he moaned. Treize began to work and stretch the tight hole, slowly building to three fingers. Duo squirmed against the digits, silently pleading for more. The fingers were abruptly removed and Duo's eyes fluttered open to see Treize stroking his own erect member with lube.

"You're clean, right?" Treize asked as he prepared himself.

"Yeah, you?"

"Of course." Treize smiled and pulled Duo's legs up so that his heels and behind were on the edge of the bed. He positioned himself, gently pressing against Duo's entrance. There was a moments pause before Treize slammed into Duo, causing the braided man to cry out in pain and pleasure. Treize pulled out and slammed back in creating a fast hard rhythm.

"Fuck, you're tight as shit Duo," Treize panted as he continued to thrust. "Must have been awhile since your last time, eh?"

Duo could not answer; he could not even think. His body was on fire and his mind was lost in a world of overwhelming pain and all encompassing pleasure. Treize felt huge, and Duo had indeed not had another partner in well over two years. The hard and steady rhythm continued until suddenly Treize pulled out. Duo lay panting, staring at the ceiling in a daze.

Treize set his hand on Duo's knee. "Roll over and get on your hands and knees."

Duo rolled over and climbed to the middle of the bed, positioning himself on his hands and parted knees. He stayed there for a moment before Treize climbed up beside him, trailing a hand down Duo's back and caressing his backside. Treize's other hand reached under Duo and wrapped around his twitching member. Treize slowly stroked him before suddenly slapping Duo's bare backside. The braided man's breath hitched. The hand returned to gentle caressing. There was another slap followed by another gentle caress. This continued and Duo lost count of how many times he had been stuck. His member was dripping and he cried out at every touch to his abused skin.

"Whats wrong Duo?" Treize purred.

Duo could not answer. He was swirling around in his new found world. Treize leaned in and whispered in his ear, "Is there something you want?"

"Y-yes!" Duo stuttered.

"Well, what might that be?"

Duo clenched his eyes shut and balled his hands into fists. He wanted to say it, but he was afraid to let go anymore than he already had.

"If you don't tell me, I'll have to go back to teasing you and spanking your ass."

"I - I want you to fuck me!" Duo chocked out. There was a seconds pause before Treize's hand came down hard on Duo's red and raw behind. "Ahhh!"

"Are you sure that's what you WANT?"

It was so freaking hard for Duo to think. Of course that was what he wanted, but somewhere inside, Duo knew that that was not what Treize really meant when he emphasized the word. That wasn't what he wanted to hear. Duo knew what he needed to say, what he wanted to truly say.

"I want you to fuck me," Duo admitted.

"Hmm, that doesn't sound very mannerly. You must really want me to slap you again, don't you?" The words came out sadistically.

"No, please!" Duo begged. "Please fuck me!"

"Hmm, that will have to do for now." Treize shifted so that he was kneeling between Duo's parted knees. He slipped a finger into Duo's entrance; it was still slick with lube. Treize positioned himself and slowly pushed forward, stopping only when the head of his member was inside. Duo was panting, sweat beading on his back. Treize thrust back and forth slowly, barely moving the head of his member inside Duo.

Duo whimpered, hanging his head from pent up needs. He desperately wanted more, and he did not want to wait any longer. "Please," he pleaded weakly. "Please just fuck me." There was a moment more of teasing before Treize pulled all the way out and hammered back in. Duo cried out at the sudden penetration.

Treize began to move quickly, plunging in hard and fast. "Fuck; I'm going to fuck this tight ass all night!" He entwined his fingers in Duo's hair and pushed the other mans face down into the bed. His penetration quickened, leaving Duo moaning and crying out. "Fuck yes. You're a dirty slut, aren't you?" Duo merely answered with a moan. Treize fisted Duo's hair, pulling and causing him to scream.

"Say it." Treize demanded through clenched teeth.

"I'm a dirty little slut!" Duo exclaimed.

"Fuck yeah you are. Take that dick you dirty little slut." Treize pounded into Duo relentlessly, reaching around to stroke the braided mans weeping member. "You like it when I talk dirty to you, don't you?"

"Y-yes!" Duo cried out. He had had rough partners before, but nothing to this extent. This was something completely new, and he found himself wanting more. He enjoyed being completely dominated during sex.

"Your ass is so tight. I'm gunna fuckin' come." Treize continued to thrust. "Do you want me to come in your dirty little ass?"

"Yes. Please come in my ass," Duo urged, wanting to feel his own release.

Treize cursed and his thrusting peaked to an erratic pace until he released his seed into Duo. Duo's orgasm came a moment later. Treize gave a few small thrusts before pulling out and climbing off the bed. Duo collapsed, panting, on the bed. The last thing he remembered was the sound of water running in the adjoining bathroom before he passed out.

End Chapter 8


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Duo woke with a throbbing in his head, a feeling that he was getting sick of waking up to. He rolled over and his stomach tightened. He bolted up and rushed to the bathroom to throw up. When he was finished turning his insides out, he relieved himself and leaned against the sink to rinse his mouth out with water. He sighed and looked into the mirror. He wondered where he was and what had happened. He stumbled into the bedroom and paused. Everything from the night before came flooding back.

"Holy fuck."

Duo remembered the drinks, the cocaine and the sex. It had been a wild ride he had not anticipated, yet at the same time he had to admit to himself that he had enjoyed every part of it. In the past when Duo had a lover it had been fairly vanilla. Last night was something he had never experienced before, and he could not help but want more of it. He chided himself, reminding himself that it has been a one night stand. He was reminded that everything would go back to the way it was and he would have to deal with all the hell in his life. He shook the thoughts from his mind before grabbing his clothing off the floor and pulling it on. He began to get dressed, wondered where Treize was. As he pulled his pants up and buttoned them he noticed a note on the bedside table beside his keys and cell. He picked the piece of paper up and read.

Good morning, Duo.  
I'm sorry I can't be there when you wake. I had to get off to work early. There is Tylenol in the bathroom for your headache. Please wash and re-wrap your arm with the supplies in the cabinet. There is food in the refrigerator, please help yourself. I greatly enjoyed our time together last night; I hope you did as well.  
TK  
020-xxxx-xxxx Call me.

Duo blinked. Was Treize for real? Duo reread the note. Did Treize actually request that Duo tend to his own wound? Why would he care, and he wanted Duo to call him? Duo had been intent on it being a simple one night stand; now his thoughts were wavering. He shook his head; he could think about that later. He needed to head out. He popped a few Tylenol and cleaned and wrapped his forearm. He did not do it because Treize had asked; he did it because it was the safe thing to do. He grabbed his belongings and headed out after slipping into his boots. When he was in his car he checked his phone. There were no missed calls or messages. He felt relieved. He started the engine and picked a playlist on his phone before pulling out of the drive way and driving off towards home.

xxxx

Duo had driven home, cleaned up the messes he had left and took a shower before dressing and heading to his studio. Once there, he immediately began sorting through unfinished paintings in attempt to try and choose something to work on. He grew frustrated quickly. Nothing was calling out to him. He wanted to take his mind off of last night and all of his problems.

He wondered if starting a new painting was a good idea, but reminded himself that he already had far too many unfinished paintings. The idea of working on a previous project overwhelmed him though so he went to a cabinet to get a fresh canvas. He selected the size he wanted and set everything up. He stood looking at the blank canvas wondering what he could paint. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Images from last night flooded his mind but instead of pushing them away he grabbed a paint brush and let his thoughts and emotions flow out onto the canvas.

Duo had spent hours on the painting in front of him. By the time he was finished it was evening. He set his brushes down and examined the piece of art. He did not think it was half bad; in fact he quite liked it. He sat down and picked up his phone. He saw the time and panic rushed through his veins. It was already six o'clock. He had intended to call Treize back much earlier but had gotten lost in his work. He had done a lot of thinking while he was painting and had decided that it would not hurt to give Treize a chance. He was desperate for some kind of connection. There was a high chance of him getting hurt in the end, but he was a glutton for punishment.  
The braided man pulled the note out of his pocket and entered the number into his cell. He took a deep breath before hitting the call button. The phone rang a few times before there was an answer.

"OZ corp. You have called the office of Mr. Kushranada. How may I help you?" A secretary answered the call.

"Oh, uh Tre- I mean Mr. Kushranada asked me to call him at my earliest convenience. I hope it's not too late to catch him."

"Mr. Kushranada is still in the office. May I ask who's calling?"

"Could you tell him Solo is calling?"

"Just one moment please."

Duo was placed on hold. For some reason he did not want to give the secretary his real name. He was paranoid, but was not exactly sure why. The hold music ended abruptly and changed to ringing. After the second ring the other side of the line was picked up.

"Treize Kushranada."

"Hey Treize. It's Duo." Duo kicked himself inside. Why had he said that? It was not like Trieze did not already know who was calling.

"Indeed it is. And for what do I owe the pleasure of this call?" Treize's voice sounded silky smooth over the phone and it sent shivers down Duo's spine.

Duo swallowed and tentatively asked, "I was just wondering if you'd like to get together again some time?"

"I would quite enjoy that Duo. Do you have a time in mind?"

"I was thinking Friday night, if you're not busy?" He did not want to sound needy by requesting an earlier date.

"Friday? Hmm, I was thinking Wednesday night."

Duo was taken aback. That felt so soon, and what about Treize needing to work the next day? "Are you sure that's okay?"

"Of course, if that's okay with you. I can come pick you up. How does six in the evening sound?"

The braided man hesitated. "Oh, well I was wondering if we could meet up at your place?" He was not ready for the rest of the world to know that they were seeing each other.

"Hmm? If that's what you'd like. I can message you directions to my penthouse in the city. Meet me there at six?"

"Yeah, that sounds great. See you then." Duo hung up after Treize said his goodbyes and slumped back into the chair. Before he could recover, his phone rang and he nearly dropped it in a panic to answer. He had not even checked the caller ID.

"Hello?" Duo answered.

"Hey Duo, how's it going?" A familiar voice asked.

"Oh hey Quatre. It's going pretty good. How about you?" He felt apprehension rise inside of him causing his stomach to twist. He felt guilty about how he had reacted at dinner Saturday night.

"Things are going great. Hey, are you busy Wednesday night? My firm is doing a get together and I was wondering if you wanted to join the other guys and myself to it?"

"Oh man, I'm sorry Quatre. I already have plans." Relief washed over Duo. He had no interest in spending time with 'the guys'.

"That's okay, don't worry about it. Have you been doing okay?"

"Yeah, thanks." An idea popped into his head. He wanted to spend time with his best friend, but he also wanted to make it up to Quatre for how he had acted Saturday. "Hey, what do you say about getting together a different night? How does Friday sound?"

"Unfortunately I can't do Friday. How about Saturday night?"

"That works. You and the guys can meet me at the pub for a few drinks." Normally he would not have included the other men but he wanted to make up for his actions. He owed it to Quatre to make things better.

"Sounds great! I'll get a-hold of everyone tomorrow."

"Okay. Talk to you later."

"Bye!"

The call ended and Duo stared at his phone. It was going to be an eventful week. He hoped that he was up to the challenge.

End Chapter 9


	10. Chapter 10

**Authors Note: This chapter contains a mature scene.**

Chapter 10

Wednesday Night

Duo stared at his wardrobe. He could not decide what to wear. Should he dress up, go casual or wear something fun? He grumbled. Figuring out what to wear should not be so difficult. It was just a date. He grabbed a pair of tight black jeans and slipped into them. Now he needed to figure out his shirt. He settled on a plain black t-shirt. He went to the bathroom and threw some thick eyeliner on. He rummaged through the drawer for a few accessories. He found a thick leather collar and put it around his neck. He looked into the mirror and smiled. Simple but edgy. He finished getting ready and headed out.

Duo found himself standing in front of the door to Treize's penthouse. He knocked on the door, looking around at the hallway as he waited. The door opened to reveal Treize dressed in a polo and khakis.

"Good evening, Duo. Please come in." Trieze stepped aside and let Duo in. The braided man moved into the penthouse, looking around at the lavish furniture and decor. Treize stepped up beside him and leaned against the wall. "It's nice to see you again."

Duo turned and smiled, "It's good to see you too." He felt a bit nervous. He had not been on anything resembling a date in years.

Treize pushed away from the wall and hooked a finger under the collar Duo was wearing. "What's this?"

"Just something I had lying around." Duo shrugged like it was nothing.

Treize smiled and hooked his finger under the collar, lightly tugging on it. Duo blushed and Treize leaned down to capture his lips in a kiss. Duo's breath hitched and he leaned into the kiss. It was soft and filled Duo's body with warmth. Treize pulled away, keeping close and gazing into his eyes. "You know what I've been dying to do?"

"What?" Duo chocked out.

"I've been dying to run my fingers through that gorgeous long hair of yours." A seductive smile played on Treize's lips.

Duo blushed. "Okay." He took a step back and removed the elastic from his braid before working his fingers through it to untangle it. When he was finished he looked to Treize. The eyes of the other man had a predatory glint. Treize stepped forward, entangling and running his fingers through the thick chestnut brown hair. Duo leaned into the touch, closing his eyes. Treize pulled the other man closer to him and bit and sucked on his neck. The braided man tilted his head, exposing more flesh. They stood there for a moment, Treize teasing his neck and Duo enjoying the sensations.

Treize pulled away and whispered, "I want to touch you. All of you."

"Okay," Duo breathed.

Treize grasped his hand and pulled him to the bedroom. Duo's eyes widened when they entered. This bedroom was completely opposite of the one at the house. There was all manner of bondage tools hanging on the walls and ceiling. There were leather shackles on the head and foot posts of the bed and a handful of toys on the bedside table. Treize pulled Duo to the end of the bed and began to pull Duo's clothing off, tossing the articles to the floor. When he was finished, he gently caressed Duo's cheek.

"Climb on the bed for me Love," the taller man requested. Duo nodded and climbed onto the center of the bed so that his head was on the pillows. Treize stripped quickly before joining Duo and straddling his waist. "Do you trust me, Duo?"

"Yes," Duo answered without hesitation. Fire was rushing through his veins and excitement tingled in his skin. He had not been sure what he had anticipated for the date, but he was happy with the path they were taking.

Treize took hold of Duo's wrists, pulled them above his head and secured leather straps around them. The braided man watched and waited patiently. When Treize finished with Duo's wrists, he reached over to the bedside table and procured a set of clamps connected together with a chain. He leaned down to Duo's chest, sucking and biting on the nipples there. Duo gasped at the sensation, arching his back. Treize pulled away and quickly clipped one of the clamps on a raised nipple. Duo inhaled sharply. Treize clipped the second clamp on the other nipple, eliciting a small cry from the bound man.

"How does that feel?"

"F-fine," Duo stuttered. Excitement was building inside of him, filling him with a longing and need to be touched.

"Good. If at any point during this you want me to stop the safe-word is 'Red'," Treize informed.

Duo nodded in understanding. He had not been aware that their activities might lead to him needing something like a safe-word. Fear and excitement rushed through him. He had no idea what Treize had planned, but he could not wait to find out.

Treize smirked before moving to kneel between Duo's legs. He grabbed a bottle from the nightstand and slathered lube on his fingers. He slowly began to prepare Duo's entrance, slipping slick fingers into his tight hole. Duo moaned, squirming against the fingers. Treize pulled his fingers away and pulled Duo's legs up so that his knees were bent. The taller man positioned himself and slowly pushed into Duo's prepared entrance.

Duo moaned, arching his back and pulling against the restraints. The rhythm began slow but suddenly quickened. Treize pounded into Duo roughly, causing Duo to cry out in pain and pleasure. The rapid and hard pounding continued for what seemed like forever and Duo became overwhelmed.

"Please, Treize, I need a break," Duo panted, pulling against the shackles.

Treize abruptly stopped. "A break you say? I think I can manage that." He pulled out and moved to release Duo's wrists. The braided man sighed, taking the moment to catch his breath. Without warning, Treize grabbed him by the wrist and spun him around on the bed, pulling him to the edge. He expertly re-shackled Duo's wrists to the foot posts, leaving Duo's head hanging off the end of the bed.  
"Are you sure you want a break?" Treize loomed over Duo, a stern look on his face.

Duo swallowed. Part of him was afraid of what was about to happen, but he could not lie that his body needed a break. "Yes," he hesitantly answered.

Treize nodded and stepped forward, his hard member in line with Duo's mouth. "Open your mouth." Duo hesitated and Treize slapped him hard across the face. "Open your god damn mouth," the taller man growled. Duo obliged and Treize thrust his member hard into Duo's mouth and down his throat. The braided man fought against the restraints, kicking his feet. Treize mercilessly thrust into Duo's mouth.  
The ginger haired man stopped, pulling back to let Duo breath. The braided man coughed and gasped for air. Gentle fingers caressed his lower lip, before his chin was held open and Treize continued his assault. He held Duo's head firmly as he thrust aggressively and for longer than he had before. He finally pulled back and Duo coughed violently. Treize crouched down so that his and Duo's eyes were in line. "Are you ready to be done with your break now?" He whispered.

"Yes!" Duo gasped.

"Good." Treize stood and unclasped the shackles. "Sit up on your knees with your hands behind your back."

Duo did as he was told as Treize grabbed a pair of handcuffs from the bedside table. He climbed behind the other man and put them around thin wrists. Treize trailed his fingers up Duo's arm and down his chest, tugging on the chain connecting the clamps. Duo threw his head back and moaned. Treize eased Duo down to the bed so that his backside was up in the air. He parted the younger mans legs with a nudge of his knees. Treize caressed his backside and teased his tight entrance before lining himself up. He pushed in slowly, eliciting a moan from Duo. He started a slow steady rhythm, relishing the feeling of being inside of Duo.

Duo groaned, warmth filling his body as Treize moved inside of him. His worries had been cast aside; his only thoughts were of pleasure. The pace began to quicken and he felt a pressure building deep inside. The pressure continued to grow until he was on the edge of climax.  
"Duo," Treize panted. "I want you to be mine. I want you to be my submissive. Say you'll be mine."

The request sent Duo over the edge. "Yes!" He shouted as he climaxed. Treize followed quickly, releasing his seed deep inside of Duo. The taller man pulled out and removed the handcuffs allowing Duo to crumple onto the bed. Duo was exhausted and the dark thoughts that he had pushed away so diligently came flooding forward. They overwhelmed him and he drifted off to sleep filled with thoughts of pain, blood and pleasure.

End Chapter 10

 _AN: I want to thank everyone who has kept up with reading this story. It means a lot to me. I currently have chapter 11 hand written and am working on chapter 12. I have plans for another 11+ chapters filled with plenty of drama so hold tight :D. Again thanks to everyone._


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Duo woke due to the sound of his cell phone dinging loudly from a text message. He groaned and pulled the covers over his head. He had not remembered getting under them, but he had a feeling that Treize had had a hand in that. A warm feeling blossomed inside of him. It was a feeling that he had not felt in a long time. He was filled with a sense that someone cared about him, maybe even loved him. He was not sure if he felt any real love for Treize yet, but the other man clearly wanted them to be an item. Duo blushed as he remembered Treize's confession and request. Duo had said yes without thinking, but Treize seemed like a genuinely good guy. Not to mention Duo really enjoyed all the bondage. Yet, at the same time, he had agreed to be Treize's submissive. Duo had a vague idea what that meant, but he had never been in a relationship quite like this before. He pushed away any doubts though, feeling confident that Treize would fill him in on all the details. This was his opportunity to put all the pain behind him and move on with his life. His stomach growled signaling the end of his hiding under the covers. He threw them off and climbed out of the bed, noticing something beside his phone on the night stand. There was a chain-mailed collar with a large o-ring in the middle of it and a note.

Good morning my little Sub,  
I left for work early. Please wear the collar that I have left. I would like you to wear it at all times. Please help yourself to breakfast and have a good day.  
TK

The note had been signed with a heart. Duo felt a blush rise in his cheeks. He picked the collar up and held it in his hands. It was not particularly heavy, but the weight of its significance rang through him. He took the ends of the chain and clasped them around his neck. It felt different as he was not used to it yet, but he felt that it was a good different. He would get used to it.

He stood up and grabbed his phone, remembering that it had sounded earlier. He scrolled through his messages. Hilde had texted him about work; there was a list of commissions and she needed him to come to her office. He texted her back informing her that he would be there later that day before searching for his clothing. Once he had dressed and used the restroom, he ventured into the kitchen to find some food. He decided on eating an apple, procuring one from the fruit basket on the kitchen counter. As he ate he leaned against the counter, mapping out the day. He needed to get back home and wash off the sweat from last night. He also needed to find something new to cover his arm up. He figured he would throw on a light jacket; it would be easier to pull off than wearing long sleeves all the time. He finished the apple and headed out, a new confidence and, dare he admit, happiness filling his heart.

xxx

 _Saturday Night_

Duo had arrived at the pub at quarter past seven. He had called ahead earlier that day to make reservations as it was a busy night. He arrived early and waited at the entrance for the others to arrive. It did not take long for everyone to be gathered; they made quick greetings before heading inside. Once they were seated, they ordered drinks and relaxed into casual conversation.

"It's good to see you Duo. We missed you Wednesday night," Heero started.

"It was so much fun! You would have had a blast," Quatre added.

"Heh," Duo scratched his temple, a guilty smile on his face . "Sorry about that. I had a prior engagement."

"That's okay; it would have been better with you there though." Quatre paused as their drinks arrived before continuing, "So what was your prior engagement? You didn't guest DJ somewhere and not invite me did you?" He laughed.

Duo chuckled awkwardly. "Well, actually. It was a date." For some reason he felt comfortable with admitting this in front of everyone. He felt a sense of euphoria radiating through his body. It was almost as if he could not contain the joy and wanted everyone around him to feel excited as well.

"A date!?" Quatre exclaimed.

"Yeah. I started seeing this guy recently," Duo informed nonchalantly. He felt differently than he did a week ago. Where once he had felt pain there was now this new sense of joy. He no longer felt afraid to be open around the other three men sitting at the table with him and Quatre. He figured that getting to know them could not hurt and so he felt more comfortable opening up. He was also aware of the fact that Quatre liked Trowa and he wanted to support his friend. Being friends with them was the least that Duo could do for Quatre to make up for being such a pain. It was as if meeting Treize had been exactly what he needed. He felt like a new person.

"Oh! Who is it? You have to tell me! I can't believe you've kept it to yourself! How long have you been seeing him? What does he look like?" Quatre blurted excitedly.

Duo laughed at the barrage of questions. "His name is Treize, and he's a really great guy."

"Treize? As in Treize Kushranada? The chairman of the board of OZ Corp?" Heero inquired, a look looming in his eyes that Duo did not notice.

"Yeah. You two have met I assume," Duo added. He took a long drink of his long island, settling into the relaxed environment.

"Yeah, we've met," Heero confirmed, looking down into his drink.

"Is there anything else new Duo?" Quatre inquired.

"Well, Hildie recently dumped a ton of commission pieces on me so I've been crazy busy working on those," Duo answered. He was now the center of attention. In the past few years he had grown to hate being the focal point outside of his DJing and art careers. Now he felt like he had before his brother had died; he was not afraid to have all eyes on him.

"Do you get commissions often?" Trowa joined the conversation.

"Not really. I usually just do them for charities or if someone close to me requests something. I give friends a huge discount." He winked and laughed. "But enough about me. What about you guys?"

"Oh. My. Gosh!" Quatre exclaimed. "I was just thrust into an ongoing murder trial. It's been chaos for the past few days."

"Ongoing?" Wufei inquired.

"Yeah. There were some issues that came up with the lawyer working the case and I had to take it on."

"That sounds stressful," Trowa commented. Quatre nodded wearily.

"What about you Trowa? Where do you work?" Duo inquired.

"I teach psychology at UCL." Trowa informed, nursing the drink sitting on the table in front of him.

"Oh? That sounds interesting," Duo stated. The braided man made a mental note to keep a safe distance from Trowa. He had no intentions to be psycho analyzed by anyone. He had tried that at one point in his life and it hadn't gone well. "What about you Wufei?"

Wufei gave Duo a blank look before answering, "I work along side Heero. I help develop and edit software." Heero glanced up from his drink when his name was mentioned.

"Neat." Duo smiled. He noticed a feeling of inadequacy slowly building up inside of him. The other four men were undoubtedly smart, not to say that he wasn't. Yet he had stopped his education after secondary school and they had all clearly gone on to receive higher educations. It made him feel like he was the dumb friend surrounded by better and more intelligent people. He pushed the feeling back, telling himself that he was dating someone with a much higher education and that had to mean something. A sliver of doubt lingered in his mind though, plaguing his unconscious mind.

The conversation shifted to the news and weather and Duo relaxed more. The group of friends settled into casual subjects, enjoying each others company. It was the first time that Duo had let his guard down around them, or anyone else in a long time, and it felt natural. He was starting to feel like things in his life were getting better.

xxx

 _Thursday_

The past five days had flown by for Duo. He had been completely immersed in painting commissions, but he had found time to make a phone call to Quatre. Duo had invited his best friend over for tea. The past week and a half had brought out a change in Duo and he wanted to be open and honest with his friend about having cut recently. They were best friends after all. Quatre had been there for him from the beginning. This fact did not make his confession any easier. Quatre had been there for him through thick and thin. When his mother had passed due to cancer, Quatre had been the one he had leaned on. When his brother passed away a few years later, Quatre had been by his side. Even when Duo had spiraled down a dark hole of depression. Through the bad life choices, drugs and self harm Quatre had been by his side for it all. Quatre felt like more than just a best friend to him; he was like Duo's brother. Duo needed to be open and honest with him.

It was nearing eleven a.m. and Duo was growing ever more anxious. This hadn't been the first time that he had told Quatre about having cut himself, but he had hoped that he would never get to a point when he would have to confess again. He tried to be strong inside; telling himself that Quatre would not hate him for his actions. His mental reassurance was weak though, and part of him feared that Quatre might react negatively. Even despite the happiness that was blooming inside of him, he felt a sense of dread.

Duo walked into his kitchen, putting a kettle on the stove to boil. He prepared a tray with two tea cups, milk, sugar, spoons, and container of tea bags. He placed the tray at the dinning room table and went to check on the kettle when there was a knock at his front door. He detoured to the entry way, peeking in the peep hole to check who was there. It was no surprise that Quatre stood on the other side of the door waiting patiently. Duo smiled and unlocked the door before pulling it open. His friend greeted him with a tight hug.

"Quatre," Duo greeted, embracing his friend back.

"Duo," Quatre pulled back and smiled. "It feels like I haven't seen you in ages!" Quatre laughed sarcastically.

Duo laughed. "I know. A whole five days. Come on in." Duo stepped aside and let Quatre enter before closing the door. "I'll meet you in the dinning room. The kettle should just about be ready." The braided man went to the kitchen as Quatre headed to the dinning room. When Duo entered the kitchen, the kettle began to whistle. He turned the stove off and removed the kettle, taking it to the tray on the dinning room table. He slid into a chair across from Quatre.

"We haven't had tea like this in quite some time," Quatre pointed out. He grabbed one of the tea cups and retrieved a tea back from it's container, placing it in the cup before pouring boiling water over it.

"I know. Sorry I didn't make any sandwiches or biscuits," Duo mimicked Quatre's actions, pouring himself a cup of tea. They sat and waited for the tea to steep.

"Don't worry about it," Quatre brushed it off. "We can still enjoy tea together without them."

"This is true. How's that murder trial going? I know you cant give a whole lot of details, but I'm dying to hear what you can tell me." Duo finished making his tea by removing the tea bag and adding sugar and milk before relaxing back into his chair.

"Oh my gosh! It's been a living nightmare." Quatre removed his tea bag from his cup and sipped the lightly colored liquid. "The case originally started weeks ago, but the lawyer that the prosecutors office had was withdrawn from the case so they pulled me in. I've been pouring over the paperwork for days!"

"Wow, why was the lawyer pulled off?" Duo asked, sipping his tea.

"I cant go into details, but basically it was a conflict of interest. They do checks to make sure things like this don't happen, but someone messed up. It doesn't happen often. The thing is, the case its self isn't the problem. If I had originally been handed it from the beginning I would have had no issues taking it on. My issue is that I've been thrust into it almost four weeks in. It's stressful."

"Sorry to hear that. Anything I can do to help?"

Quatre smiled, "No, but thank you. Actually, being able to come and have tea with you has helped. It feels nice to get away and relax a little bit."

"We need to do this more. Going to the bar and out to eat is fun, but staying home and hanging out is fun too."

"Yes, you're right. You know what we should do some time? We should get everyone together for a popcorn and movie night!" Quatre exclaimed excitedly.

Duo thought on it for a second. "That doesn't sound like a half bad idea. When we're not up to our ears in work," he laughed.

Quatre chuckled. "Yes, I have a feeling I'm going to be very busy for the next few weeks. How are your commissions going?"

"They're going well. It's not the same as a lot of my work since most of my work is fueled by emotions. I have done some emotional pieces recently but the ones I do for commissions are more structured. I mean, structured in terms of abstract painting." Duo laughed. Most of his anxiety from earlier had faded. He felt safe talking about work. It was a false sense of security though, because in the back of his mind a tiny voice whispered the reason behind their tea together. "So how are things outside of work going, not that you have a lot of time to do much else."

"Well I've been trying to help with Quaterine's wedding. It's coming up fast; she wants an autumn wedding so we only have three more months to get everything taken care of. I've been so busy with work lately though that I've had to take a step back in a lot of the planning," Quatre huffed.

"It's okay, don't stress about it. Quaterine understands how busy you can get sometimes, and she knows you're always there for her." Duo felt a sharp pang of guilt; here he was giving Quatre advice. The same advice that could be applied to his current situation, yet he found it difficult to heed his own words.

"Thanks." Quatre sipped his cooling tea. "What about yourself? How are you and Treize? When do I get to meet him?"

"One question at a time Quatre!" Duo chided.

Quatre laughed. "Sorry. Okay, how about when do I get to meet him?"

"Well, he works late nights a lot, and we only get to see each other like once a week so to be honest I have no idea when you'll be able to meet him." Duo admitted. "And to preemptively answer your next question, things between him and I are going great."

"That's great to hear Duo. How about you though? How are you doing?"

Duo felt a shift in the conversation. The tone in Quatre's voice had changed slightly; it wasn't a casual 'how are you doing'. It was filled with true concern, as Quatre knew that Duo tended to internalize his emotions. The braided man hesitated. He had invited Quatre to spill his guts, but now that the moment had come he wanted to run away and hide in a dark hole. He fought against the rising tidal wave inside of him and pushed forward.

"Well, at this exact moment I'm doing great. But," Duo paused, looking down into his almost empty tea cup. The milky liquid had cooled and he no longer found it desirable. "About a week and a half ago things weren't so great." He glanced up and saw Quatre's eyes watching him intently and patiently. "I uh...fuck it." Duo shook his head, pushing past the fear and removed the jacket he had been wearing religiously for the past week and a half. "I cut myself." He started bluntly, displaying his left forearm. The pale skin was littered with large angry red marks.

Quatre gasped, clasping a hand over his mouth. "Duo." He tentatively reached out and took the braided mans thin wrist, examining the slowly healing cuts. It looked like someone had carved a ladder into Duo's arm. "When? Why?"

"It was the Saturday night before last. I was angry at the time, and drunk. It just kind of happened. I'm sorry." Duo hung his head, guilt and shame washing over him.

Quatre held Duo's hand. "Don't apologize Duo. I'm not angry, I'm just sad. I wish you had come to me sooner."

"I wanted to, but things started to get better. A lot better." The braided man raised his head. "I feel great now and I didn't want to keep this from you."

"I'm glad you're doing better. If you ever get to this point again Duo you know that I'm here for you. It doesn't matter what time it is or what I'm doing; I will always be here for you," Quatre stated in a firm yet compassionate tone.

Duo gave a weak smile. "Thanks." He heard the words that Quatre was saying, but no matter how many times anyone said things like that to him he would always falter. There had been many times he had wanted to reach out to get help, but it wasn't until after the fact that he said anything. He was plagued by his negative emotions. Feeling weak and like a burden on others. This always held him back from doing what he deep down knew he needed to do. Duo felt the need to change the subject. Even though he had gotten the issue out in open air, he did not want to linger on it any longer. "So, are you getting anywhere with Trowa?"

Quatre took the hint and pulled his hands away, sitting back and letting a smile spread across his face. "Well, work has been interfering with that but I have managed to go out on a couple of dates with him."

Duo withdrew his arm from the table and pulled his jacket back on. "And?"

"He's a really nice guy. He's quiet and smart, but sweet. You know I haven't dated anyone since secondary school, but I'm hoping that I can connect with him on a deep level."

Duo smiled as the conversation settled on a relaxed subject. He was happy for his friend. He was originally afraid that he was going to loose his best friend to the new friends they had just gained. Now he felt like everything was going to work out for the best.

End Chapter 11

 **Authors Note: Apologies for the delay. I have been working long hours.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Trigger Warning: This chapter contains dark thoughts and actions that may disturb some readers.**

Chapter 12

It had been two days since Duo had had tea with Quatre. Shortly after Quatre had left, Hildie had called Duo to inform him that she had arranged for him to surprise guest DJ at a local venue. Duo had originally planned to go out on a date with Treize that night. He had called the other man to invite him to the venue, but Treize had declined and canceled their date due to issues at work. The braided man had then texted his best friend to invite him instead but Quatre declined because he was far too busy with work. Duo had been a little upset about not having either of them at the event, but he brushed it off. He understood that they were both busy men, and he knew he could still have fun without them there. He had contemplated calling the other three men that he was now friends with, but decided against it. He was finally comfortable with the idea of making new friends, but he wasn't quite ready yet to spend time with them without Quatre there.

The venue had been busy, as it usually was on a Saturday night, and when Aminon was introduced the building erupted with excitement. Duo had played an hour long set and when he was finished he headed out onto the floor to grab himself a drink to enjoy the rest of the show. He had just left the bar with a mixed drink and was heading to find a table when he ran into none other than Heero.  
"Heero, I didn't expect to see you here," Duo remarked in surprise.

"Yeah; Quatre messaged me yesterday and told me about it. I didn't have any plans so I thought I would come and enjoy some music. You were great by the way." Heero smiled, taking a drink of the beer he was holding.

"Thanks."

There was a moment of silence between the two men before Heero suggested, "How about we find a table?"

"Sure."

Duo lead the way to the back of the venue where a cluster of tables had been set up. It was quieter there but they could still hear the music. They sat down at a round table across from each other. Duo nursed his drink, wondering what to say.

As if Heero could read his uncertainty, the taller man struck up a conversation. "So Duo, you clearly enjoy this style of music, what other styles do you enjoy?"

"Hmm, well I'm pretty open to everything in the techno and dance sub genre's. I also enjoy classical; I get a lot of my inspiration from it. I'll listen to almost anything though. What about you?" Duo felt comfortable with this topic; he was a music artist after all.

"I listen to a little bit of everything. I wouldn't say that I have a favorite genre, but lately I've been listening to a lot of techno and dance," Heero admitted.

Duo's eye brows perked up. He wondered if that might have something to do with him. He tried not to think about it. He tried not to think about how hansom Heero was or about his striking cobalt blue eyes. _You have a boyfriend Duo, you can't be ogling at other men. Well, I mean you can, but you shouldn't!_ Duo cleared his throat. "What about movies?"

"Well, I'd have to say I most enjoy watching action and adventure movies. I'll watch almost anything really. I'm not a particularly huge fan of horror movies though, but I've been convinced to watch a handful."

"Aww, I love horror movies. I love that adrenaline rush you get when you're watching them. Comedies are great too. About the only thing I don't care to watch are romances," Duo laughed, taking a swallow of his drink.

Heero chuckled. "So what do you do in your free time? You seem to be a very busy person what with your music career and your art."

Duo thought for a moment, "Well I enjoy going to clubs and raves I guess. I do tend to focus a lot on my work, but every once in awhile I like to go out. I've attended a few charity events, but that's about it. Yourself?" He had relaxed into the conversation and it felt more natural. The alcohol was tickling his body and the music was flowing through him. He was actually happy to have someone to talk to, even if he was still hesitant to get too close to Heero. He was willing to openly admit that they were friends, but he accepted that there were different levels of friendship.

"I work out a lot. I usually go to the gym twice a week and run three times a week. I've done a few marathons in the past. I hang out with Trowa and Wufei regularly; we've all been friends since primary school." Heero took a drink of his beer. "How long have you and Quatre known each other?"

Duo laughed, "Oh we go way back. We met the first year of primary school and became quick friends. We've been through almost everything together. He's like a second brother to me."

"Right, you have a brother. He passed away right? What was his name?"

Duo hesitated. The conversation was starting to flow too well, and it was beginning to lead into areas he didn't particularly like talking about. It was no secret that he had an older brother; he had admitted that much at his charity event that Heero had attended. Yet, he honestly didn't want to talk about his past; it brought up too many bad memories. Giving his brothers name couldn't hurt though, could it? "His name was Solo."  
"Were the two of you close?" Heero inquired, a look of interest in his eyes.

Duo felt a prickle of anxiety creeping up inside of him. "Yeah we were pretty close." He didn't want to talk about this. He didn't want to remember how much he cared for his brother, and how much he had resented him for being the only one to know their absent father. Sure, Duo had grown to hate his father for leaving when he was just a baby, but at the same time that didn't change the fact that he had been there for the first eight years of Solo's life. Solo had experienced time with their father; something that Duo never had. One might ask why he never went in search for his father, but Duo would answer that by saying that after all of these years he wanted nothing to do with the man. Now that his brother had passed away, all the resentment he had had was gone and he now resented himself for feeling the way he had. He needed to steer the conversation away from his life so he asked, "What about you? Do you have any siblings?"

"I have a younger sister; her name is Satchiko. She moved to Japan a couple of years ago so I haven't seen her for some time." Heero informed, finishing his beer.

"Oh? What made her move there?" Duo continued to steer the conversation towards Heero not only because he wanted to avoid himself, but also because he was starting to grow interested in Heero's background. It dawned on him that he had learned more about Heero in the past few minutes then he even knew about his boyfriend. He pushed the thought aside and listened to Heero's answer.

"My parents are from there. I grew up in Japan for the first five years of my life until my parents moved here for my fathers work. Satchiko was born after we moved so she wanted to spend some time experiencing her family culture."

"Do you have any plans to ever go back and visit?" Duo inquired.

"I've been thinking about it a lot lately. It would be nice to see my sister and spend time in my home country. Have you ever been there yourself? I know you tour abroad for your music."

Duo laughed. "That's actually one of the few places I haven't toured. My manager has kept a lot of my shows focused in Europe, but I have gone to the United states and South America. I only started touring about two years ago though."

"We should go some time. It's a beautiful country bursting with culture and heritage," Heero casually proposed as if they had been friends for years.

"Like, just the two of us?" Duo asked awkwardly. The idea sounded fun, but it felt too much like a romantic gesture.

"Well, we can of course invite the others," Heero smoothed over the tension. "I know Trowa and Wufei have never been and I'm sure Quatre would enjoy it."

"Yeah," Duo finally downed the last of his drink. "That could be fun." It was getting late and Duo wanted to get going. The conversation had been nice, but it had **arisen** issues inside of him. He wanted to get away and drown out the memories and awkward feelings that Heero had stirred inside of him. Unfortunately, he didn't have a good excuse to leave so he would have to lie. "Well, it's getting pretty late. My manager wants to get with me early tomorrow morning so I should probably get going. It was good seeing you and getting a chance to chat." Duo stood. "I'll see you later."

"Alight, I'll see you later. Have a good night." Heero smiled.

"Back at ya!" Duo plastered a forced grin on his face and made his way out of the venue. When he stepped out into the cool night air he took a deep breath. His anxiety was running rampant in his body. He shakily pulled out a cigarette and lit it, taking a long drag. As he smoked, he made his way to his car, feeling only the edge of the anxiety receding. It wasn't enough, he needed more. He wanted to call Treize; he wanted to feel something other than what he was feeling now. He reminded himself that it was late and he didn't want to bother the other man with something so trivial. While driving home he continued to think. He needed something right away to take the edge off, more than just a cigarette. A dark idea slipped into his mind and he began to toy with it. /I can do it one more time and then I'll quit. Just a few cuts where no one will see and I'll be fine. It'll be fine./ Duo lied to himself the entire way home, his mind formulating a plan for when he got home.

By the time Duo had gotten home, the itch inside had grown unbearable. He rushed into his flat, locking the door behind him and made a b-line to the bathroom. Once there he pulled the pocket knife out from the back of the drawer. When the knife was finally in his hand, he closed the door and sat with his back to it. He examined the blade, contemplating the best location. He had always favored his left arm when he turned to cutting, and a little voice in his mind reassured him that no one would notice the new cuts next to the ten already there. They were healing, but the skin around them was still an angry red. Any new marks would blend it fine. Decision made, he pulled up the fabric of the mesh long sleeve shirt he had worn that night and pressed the blade to his skin. A rush of adrenaline engulfed him as the sharp metal sliced his flesh. The anxiety was washed over, erasing it from existence if only for a moment. It wasn't enough though. He needed more. He cut himself once, twice, three times more before he stopped. Satisfaction mingled with the adrenaline coursing through his body, filling his entire being. In that moment he did not think about how the feeling would not last long. He did not think of the past or anxiety. He did not worry about the repercussions of his actions. He only felt and thought about the feeling filling him. The intense and euphoric feeling. It was a high that he had fought to resist, but now it was a drug. A drug that he would fall back on, cling to and rely on to get him through the days.

End Chapter 12

 **Authors Note: A majority of the dark themes in this story come from personal experience. My wish is not to glorify these dark themes but only to give an accurate portrayal.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Trigger Warning: This chapter contains dark themes that may be upsetting to some readers.  
Warning: This chapter contains a mature scene.  
**

Chapter 13

Duo woke the next morning feeling more exhausted than when he had gone to bed. He felt like a ton of bricks was pushing down on his entire body, and the thought of moving felt impossible. He laid there for some time, trying to find the energy to even twitch a muscle. After what felt like forever, Duo rolled over and reached for the cell phone charging on the bedside table. Once he had procured it, he unlocked it to check the time. It was ten am; he had no idea when he had actually woken up though. He knew he needed to get up and make sure his arm was clean, use the bathroom and get something to eat, but to be honest the only one of those that even remotely interested him was using the restroom. He didn't care about the state of his arm and food sounded disgusting. As for relieving himself, his bladder was beginning to scream in protest and he knew that he would not be able to avoid doing something about it before long.

With a defeated sigh, he rolled out from under the covers and sluggishly made his way to the bathroom. He found the entire process draining and soon found himself back in his bed curled under his covers. He laid on his side, staring at the home screen of his cell phone as he held is lazily in his hand. He felt the need to do something; to watch or read something to take his mind off how he was feeling. Yet, he could not summon the motivation to do so and simply stared at the icons on the screen.

Duo had nodded off when the phone, now laying on the bed beside his pillow, vibrated and rang. He groggily opened his eyes and started at it. Treize was calling him and it was nearly noon. He glared at it, wondering if he had the energy to talk to anyone. He honestly didn't want to answer, but a little voice inside of him urged him to not ignore his boyfriend. Reluctantly he took the phone in hand and answered the call.

"Hello?" Duo answered tiredly.

"Duo? Are you okay? You sound a bit off," Treize's concern seeped through the phone.

"Yeah, just had a long night so I just woke up," Duo lied. "What's up?"

"Well I was wondering if you would be up to getting together tonight. I want to make up for canceling our date and missing seeing you play last night."

"But it's a Sunday night. You have to work in the morning," Duo pointed out. He honestly wasn't in the mood to go anywhere and he would try anything to stay secluded for the remainder of the day.

"That's never stopped me before," Treize chuckled.

Time to try a new tactic. "I honestly had a really rough night and I'm not feeling up to leaving the house today." That wasn't a lie, simply a vague truth.

"Oh? Is everything okay? What happened?"

"I just have a hangover from hell from drinking too much. It's nothing to worry about." That was a lie; a very believable lie.

"Well let me come to you then. I can bring some take-out with me, we can eat and relax for the night. How does that sound?"

Duo had a feeling that he wasn't going to get Treize off of his back no matter what, even if he admitted the truth. With an internal sigh he answered, "Sure, that would be nice." Another lie. "When did you want to come over?"

"How about I get there around five?"

"Yeah, that sounds good."

"Alright, I'll see you then love."

"Bye."

The call ended and Duo was left once again staring at his phone. He felt the heaviness that was already pushing down on him grow and weigh him down even more. How was he ever going to manage to get himself up and dressed, to make himself presentable? He needed to take a shower; the sweat from working a show the night before made his skin feel sticky yet he felt unwilling to do anything about it. His hair was a mess and he needed to shave off the five o'clock shadow. There was no way he was going to be able to get up and do any of that right now. Duo proceeded to set an alarm on his phone to wake him at four in the afternoon in hopes that he would be feeling better then. With that done he drifted back into a restless sleep.

xxxx

Duo woke to the sound of his alarm screaming at him. He shuffled through the covers to find his phone and dismiss the alarm. He laid in bed, feeling just as exhausted as he had earlier that morning when he had first woken up. He stayed there waffling back and forth between not moving and getting up to take care of himself for thirty minutes. The time felt like it was bearing down on him, reminding him that as every second passed he was loosing more and more time to get ready before Treize arrived. He groaned as he rolled out of bed ten minutes later, shuffling to the bathroom to shower and shave.

Once he was under the hot stream of water, he wanted nothing more then to stand there for hours soaking up the warmth. He was under a time crunch though, and despite his protesting mind and body he washed up quickly. When he was finished, he stepped out and wrapped a towel around his waist before stepping up to the mirror and shaving the stubble that had grown on his face. He had just stepped out of the bathroom and was about to dry and braid his hair before dressing when a knock on his front door sounded through the flat.

Had he really taken that long in the bathroom? He thought he had been quick, but his sense of time was skewed and he couldn't honestly say if had been quick or not. He wavered between answering the door and calling out to tell Treize that he would be at the door shortly. He was afraid that it was going to take him forever to finish getting ready and he didn't want the other man to stand out there forever, so he shuffled to the entryway. He held onto his towel as he peeked through the peep hole. It was Treize, not surprisingly, and he was carrying a bag of what looked like Chinese take out. Half of Duo was anxious about the fact that he was naked and only wearing a towel around his waist, the other half couldn't care less.

He had wasted too much time, so much to the point that it was almost awkward. He hastily unlocked the door and let Treize in, mindful to stay behind the door so no one else could see him. He shut the door behind Treize and locked it, finally revealing his semi-nakedness to the other man.

"Oh, I seem to have caught you at a bad time," Treize commented with a slight smirk.

Duo brushed it off. "Don't worry about it. Make yourself at home, I'll meet you out in the dinning room in a minute."

Treize nodded and Duo walked away towards his bedroom, feeling predatory eyes following him the entire way. Once in the bedroom, he closed the door and resisted the urge to fall back into bed. He hastily towel dried his hair and braided it before throwing on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, black of course. He had rushed through it all, making him feel even more anxious then he had before. When he was finished, he shuffled out to the dining room where Treize had laid the food out on the table.

"I wasn't sure what you liked, so I got a couple of different things. We have Sweet and Sour Pork, Chicken Chow Mein, Fried Rice and egg rolls." Treize informed as Duo sat down at the table across from him.

"That's fine. Thank you," Duo said warily.

"Are you sure everything is okay? You're not looking too hot," Trieze pointed out as they both grabbed a takeout box and began to eat.

"Yeah, sorry." Duo looked to the other man and forced a small smile. "I forgot I'm not twenty-one anymore sometimes."

Treize chuckled and they both ate in silence. It was a comfortable silence, but inside Duo felt nowhere near close to comfortable. His exhaustion continued to weigh him down and he knew that at some point when they were finished eating some kind of conversation would follow. He didn't feel like talking; he just wanted to crawl back in bed and sleep for the next twenty years. When they were finished, Duo dragged himself out of his chair and proceeded to clean up.

Treize stood. "Let me help you with that."

"Don't worry about it, I'll take care of it. I'll meet you in the living room." Duo busied himself with putting the leftovers away and finished with throwing the trash in the bin. He turned around and was surprised to see Treize leaning with his arms crossed against the archway that lead into the kitchen. Duo's mind raced to find something to say. "Would you like something to drink?"

"No." The taller man dropped his arms and stepped towards Duo. "I want you." The look in his eyes sent shivers down Duo's spine. He wasn't in the mood for sex but his ability to think of a way to get out of it quickly diminished as Treize closed the space between them.

He was soon wrapped in Treize's strong arms and their lips were colliding. There was a feverishness about the way Treize kissed him; it had been well over a week since they had seen each other. Treize's hands roamed around Duo's body and were soon wrapped around his pale arms. The kiss broke only when a hand squeezed tight where Duo's fresh wounds were causing him to pull away with a gasp of pain.

"You've been cutting again," Trieze growled, a darkness in his eyes.

Duo felt shame and fear wash over him. He had been so preoccupied with trying to not move at a sloths pace that he had neglected to throw on a shirt that covered his arm. He was open and exposed. "I-"

"Shhh." Trieze pressed a gentle finger to Duo's lips to silence him. He moved his hand down to take hold of Duo's and lead him to the bedroom. Duo felt like he was in a daze and let his body be lead. Once there, Treize sat him down on the bed and kissed him deeply. "Where do you hide it?"

Duo knew what Treize was talking about, and fear and anxiety engulfed him. Why did Treize want to know? What was he going to do? Was he going to take it away? What would Duo do then? "The bathroom drawer, in the back," Duo reluctantly admitted.

Treize disappeared but returned shortly, Duo's pocket knife in hand. It was Duo's dirty little secret, the knife he had always hidden away since he could remember. He had never told anyone that he had held onto it for so long, or that he kept it hidden.

"Strip down," Treize commanded in a stern voice. Duo hesitated, still unwilling to engage in any sexual behavior. Treize's eyes narrowed and he stepped forward, grabbing the chain around Duo's neck roughly before hissing, "I said strip down."

Duo had nearly forgotten about the collar having grown so used to wearing it all the time. Now he was reminded of its presence and what it meant. He still honestly wasn't sure what being a submissive entailed, but he feared that disobeying would bring some sort of punishment. He slowly stood when Treize released his hold on the chain, and stripped down. He stood before the other man awkwardly, keeping his eyes pointed at the floor in shame.

"Lay down on the bed." The order was curt but Duo obliged, laying so that his head was on the pillows. He started at the ceiling, trying desperately to push away the fear and shame. He heard Treize rummage through his bedside table before moving to kneel between Duo's legs. The braided man glanced down, taking note that Treize had disrobed. His knees were pushed up and he felt a cold slick finger push inside of him. The sensation was pleasant, but he found it difficult to let go of the tension that was wound so tightly inside of his body. A second fingered came next, followed by a third. When Treize seemed satisfied, he removed the fingers and pushed his hard member against Duo's entrance. Duo closed his eyes and bit his lip as Treize pushed inside, burying himself inside of Duo. Treize began to move, thrusting into Duo at a slow but steady pace.

"Look at me when I'm fucking you!" Treize commanded.

Duo's eyes shot open and he looked into Treize's eyes. A glint of silver flashed in the corner of his eye and he saw that Treize was holding the opened pocket knife in his hand. A new fear and excitement tingled inside of him. He watched as the blade came down on his thigh and Treize slowly cut the un-scared flesh there. Duo hissed in pain, arching his back from the pleasurable sensation of being penetrated and cut at the same time. It was like nothing he had ever felt before. The pleasure he had felt last night was nothing compared to this. He would never have imagined in a million years that anything like this would happen or feel so good.

Treize locked eyes with him. "This body is mine, do you understand?"

Duo was still in a hazy world of euphoria, and the words barely registered. He was quickly pulled out of that world when a hand slapped him hard across the face.

"Do you understand?!" Treize shouted.

"Yes!" Duo exclaimed. He was rewarded with another cut on his thigh that caused pain and pleasure to spread through his body once again. Treize continued to thrust, quickening the pace.

"You will not cut yourself again, do you understand? If you want to feel pain, that is my job."

"Yes, I understand." Another smack.

"Yes _Master_." Treize growled.

"Yes Master!" Duo gasped. Another cut was applied to his leg before Treize began to pound into him erratically. The pleasure inside of Duo had grown to a breaking point and he could no longer hold it in. He cried out as his orgasm exploded through him more intensely then he could ever remember. Treize followed suit and pulled out of him, leaving him to lay on the bed alone.

Duo laid there panting, feeling blood trickle down his leg. He looked down at the cuts; they weren't as deep as the ones he had done on his arm, but they weren't shallow either. The lingering pain and sight of blood fueled his inner demons causing them to call out for more. But he knew there would be no more tonight. He glanced over and saw Treize pull on the last of his clothing. The blond haired man moved to kiss Duo before remarking, "Clean those up. I'll call you later." With that he was gone and Duo was left alone in the quiet apartment. The exhaustion that had been pushed aside now came rushing back, overtaking Duo's mind and body.

End Chapter 13


	14. Chapter 14

**Mature Warning**  
 **Trigger/Angst Warning**

Chapter 14

One Month Later

The past month had felt like a blur to Duo. He had secluded himself; leaving only to go to his studio or meet with his manager. He ate take-out most nights, if he ate at all, and he had declined any invitations to go out with Quatre and the guys. When Quatre offered to visit him, Duo made an excuse that would allow him to be alone. The only person that visited was Treize who had made it a habit to come over two to three times a week. Their relationship had made a dark shift. Every time they met was like a ritual. Treize would come over with dinner, they would eat, go to the bedroom, have sex that involved Treize feeding Duo's need to cut, and Treize would leave. Duo felt like it was spiraling out of control; he felt like he was loosing his mind. The dark demons that had always lingered inside of him no longer crept around the edges of his mind. They had dove in head first, claws scratching and fangs gnashing. His sanity was being ravaged by the darkness. There wasn't a day that went by that he didn't think about the blood and pain of cutting and within the past week thoughts of ending it all had begun to seep in, mixing with the darkness like a poison.

He wanted it all to go away. The memories of his mother dying when he was young and his brother raising him until he too died. The hidden resentment that he had held onto for so long until the very day his brother died. The resentment he felt for himself for feeling that way. The dark ritual that Treize had ensnared him in. Duo had had messed up relationships before, but nothing near what his current relationship had become. A quiet voice inside of him cried out to escape, constantly nagging at his heart. Yet he felt that he couldn't; a part of him felt like he deserved the abuse. He felt like he was fated to always suffer and the punishment of his mind and body was well deserved.

Despite everything going on and how he felt, Duo found himself being pushed by Quatre to spend time with him and the others. He had resisted, making excuse after excuse, but Quatre refused to take no for an answer. He was now driving towards Heero's flat for a popcorn and movie night that he had absolutely no interest in attending. It was a cool September day which gave Duo the opportunity to wear a light jacket. The cuts on his arm had healed, but had left behind large scars that he did not want everyone to see. The cuts on his thighs were a different story, but there was no need for him to worry about anyone else seeing them.

Duo soon stood in front of the doorway to Heero's apartment. He remained there for some time before he finally knocked. He hadn't honestly gained much courage, but he knew he could not stay out there forever. Sooner or later Quatre would try to get a hold of him and he would haven no choice but to enter. There was a moments pause after he knocked before the door was opened to reveal Heero.  
"Duo, we've been waiting for you. Everyone else is here, come on in." Heero smiled and stepped aside to let Duo enter.

Duo stepped into the unfamiliar flat, venturing down the hall towards the sound of laughter. When he stepped into the living room he saw Quatre snuggled close to Trowa in an oversized arm chair and Wufei sitting on the couch at the furthest end away from the couple. The three were chatting casually, looking relaxed and happy. Duo wished that he could feel relaxed and happy; he remembered a time not too long ago that he did. Yet he couldn't find those feelings anymore inside of him. They had been cast out by the darkness.

Quatre jumped up when he noticed Duo enter the living room and bounded over to him. "Duo! I missed you!" He embraced the braided man in a tight hug and Duo weakly returned the embrace. He wanted to muster the excitement that Quatre was showing, but he felt so drained. The blond pulled away slightly, holding Duo at arms length to examine him. "Are you feeling okay?"

Duo forced a weak smile, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just been tired with working a lot lately is all." He didn't want to talk about how he was doing. He wanted the subject to change quickly. He honestly didn't have the energy to do that, but he had even less energy to keep up a fake happy facade. "So what movie are we watching tonight?"

"Oh!" Quatre grabbed Duo's hand and pulled him further into the living room. He began to jabber on about the name of the movie and the plot as he led Duo to the sit on the couch. Duo let the words pass over him like the wind, registering the emotions in Quatre's voice but not actually hearing the words. Duo sat on the end of the couch away from Wufei. He didn't have any issues with Wufei, but he didn't want to get stuck in the middle between two other people. Being against the arm rest gave him a sense of security. He watched as Quatre left the living room to help Heero in the kitchen with the popcorn. Silence settled between the three men in the living room as the menu music for the movie played on the television.

Minutes later, Quatre and Heero returned with three large bowls of popcorn and beers for everyone. Quatre sat down beside Trowa with a bowl and two bottles while Heero took the remaining seat in the middle of the couch. The Japanese man handed Wufei a bowl and a bottle before turning to Duo and handing him a drink and offering the last bowl of popcorn. Duo declined the popcorn quietly and turned his attention to his drink and the movie that was about to start. Normally he would have been all for taking the food offered to him; he loved eating. Yet lately he had not had much of an appetite.

Heero started the movie and they all settled into watching it. The silence between the men seemed comfortable, but for Duo it was far from comfortable. He felt anxious and drank heavily from the bottle he had been given. Duo didn't pay attention to the movie; he did notice that it was some kind of action movie but he found it difficult to stay focused on it. He was painfully aware of the dark feelings inside of him and how much he wanted to run away.

It felt like they had barely begun watching when Duo finished his beer. He examined the bottle for a second before setting it on the wooden coffee table. He wanted another, but at the same time he felt self conscious and did not want to ask.

Less than a minute after he had set the bottle down, Heero turned to him and asked quietly, "Would you like me to get you another?"

Duo faltered for a second, wanting to decline but desperately wanting to drown out the feelings inside. He hadn't enjoyed drinking in weeks and knew that the alcohol could help numb him. "If you don't mind."

Heero nodded and stood, setting the bowl of popcorn on the table before venturing out to the kitchen. Without a distraction, Duo let his eyes wander between the other three men. Wufei was sitting watching intently, snacking on his popcorn. Quatre was practically sitting on Trowa's lap and they were sharing quiet whispers and giggles between each other. Duo had a feeling that the movie was the last thing on their minds. He rolled his eyes and was thankful when Heero returned with a new open bottle and handed it to him. Duo thanked him before turning his attention to the drink.

The movie had almost finished and Duo was on his fifth drink. Heero hadn't seemed to mind retrieving more drinks for him, and Duo had stopped feeling guilty about letting the other man leave the movie to retrieve them. Duo had noticed after his fourth drink while Heero was in the kitchen that Trowa and Quatre were all over each other, stealing kisses constantly. Duo was surprised that they hadn't started to make out, but he was grateful that they hadn't. Though the alcohol had started to set in deeply, he still felt awkward about being in a room with them like that. Duo was finishing the drink when the credits began to roll.

The other men all stood and stretched, chattering about the movie. Duo sat in silence, enjoying the feel of the alcohol and not wanting to move. Wufei was first to leave, saying his goodbyes before heading out the door. Quatre and Trowa were next, both seeming eager to get away to a room where they could be alone. Heero and Duo were left alone.

"So what did you think about the movie?" Heero asked as he began to clean up the bowls of popcorn and empty bottles scattered around the living room.

"Oh, it was good," Duo lied. "Do you need help?" He asked. He didn't really feel like getting up to help, but he didn't want to be rude after all the drinks that Heero had gotten him. The alcohol was starting to hit him hard and he let the feeling fill his body.

"That's okay, thank you though. Would you like another drink?" Heero asked as he gathered the bottles on the table in front of Duo.

"Naw, thanks though." Duo declined. There was a fine line between the warm feeling after a few drinks, and the darkness crashing down on him after too many. It was a game, riding the fence and Duo frequently had a hard time not knowing when to stop.

"So what have you been up to lately? You seem to be really busy." Heero remarked as he entered the now straightened up living room with his third beer of the night. He sat down in the spot he had sat earlier, relaxing back into the couch.

"Oh you know a little of this, a little of that." It was a weak cop-out but Duo was too drunk to care.

There was a moment of silence before Heero spoke up, "Duo, can I talk to you about something?"

Duo's eyebrows perked up. Heero wanted to talk to him about something? They weren't very close. They had hung out a few times, but Duo had greatly distanced himself from everyone as of late. Were they even close enough for Heero to talk to Duo about personal issues? Duo mentally shrugged and answered, "Sure. Whats on your mind?"

Heero sat up and shifted so that he was facing Duo more. "This might not be the best time to bring this up, but you've been distant from everyone lately. I talked to Quatre and he said that until tonight you've been unwilling to spend time with anyone. He said that he practically had to force you to come tonight," Heero began. Duo felt the darkness begin to creep in again. He hadn't expected for this conversation to ever come up between him and Heero. Quatre maybe, but not Heero. Duo still felt like they didn't know each other very well.

"I don't know exactly what's going on with you right now, but I have noticed that you've changed a lot since you started dating Treize. Quatre confided in me that you had cut yourself and I'm worried about you. And I know that it may not be my place to say anything, but I care about you. A lot."

There was silence and Duo tried to process his thoughts. The two men stared at each other, Heero's face filled with concern and Duo's blank. Duo knew that the way things were going wasn't good. He knew that his relationship with Treize was bad, but he was afraid to do something about it. Part of him was angry that Quatre had told Heero about his cutting, but another part of him was tired of hiding from the world. He was torn between continuing on the way he was, and changing things. He wondered why Heero cared so much, and a tiny thought that Heero might like him more than a friend tickled his mind. He tried to push the thought away, not wanting to think about it.

"I don't know what you're talking about Heero," Duo lied, letting some of his anger slip into his tone. "I've been busy with work which is why I haven't spent any time with any of you guys. As for the cutting thing, I haven't cut in over a month." That wasn't a complete lie because he wasn't the one that had been cutting his body, yet it had only been a month ago that he had added more cuts to the ladder on his arm. It sounded better to say 'over a month' than a month though, so he ran with it. "There's nothing wrong, so you have no reason to worry."

"You're not the same, Duo!" Heero exclaimed. "The last time we got together you were like a different person. You were happy and talkative. It was like you were on top of the world. But tonight," he paused. "Tonight you've been like an empty shell."

"Why do you even care so much Heero?" Duo snapped angrily. He didn't want to be reminded of the darkness that he couldn't keep contained inside. The darkness that was spewing out of every pore of his body, suffocating him. The darkness that he had been trying so hard to hide from everyone around him. He didn't want to think about how weak he felt because he couldn't control it or contain it. He wanted it all to go away.

"I care because I've fallen in love with you!" Heero snapped back in frustration.

Duo was taken aback by the confession, and before he could process the information Heero had ensnared his lips in a kiss. Emotions flooded Duo's mind and body. Anger and confusion, joy and excitement, fear and anxiety, arousal. All of this crashed down on him at once mixing with the alcohol. Deep inside he had a crush on Heero, but he had pushed those feelings deep deep down inside of himself because of his relationship with Treize. Now those feelings rushed to the top and his judgment was clouded by the overwhelming feelings inside.

The kiss deepened, but Duo did not resist. He let it happen, getting swept away in the moment. He felt Heero's hands slip under his t-shirt and his own hands entangled themselves in Heero's tousled brown hair. Their tongues collided, battling for control. Duo felt excitement and warmth race through his body and he knew he didn't want it to ever end. Heero pulled away, hesitation in his eyes and body language as if he had realized what they were doing was wrong. But Duo did not want it to stop. He didn't want to think about what was right or wrong. He wanted it to keep going. Without hesitation Duo pulled Heero back into the kiss, trying to convey his sense of need and want.  
Heero attempted to pull away a second time, whispering, "Duo, this isn't right. You have a boyfriend. We can't do this."

"We both want it," Duo panted. "Please don't stop."

Heero hesitated for a second before leaning back into the kiss and letting his hands roam across Duo's body. Their movements were rushed, both men stripping each other of their clothing. Duo wanted it so bad he couldn't contain it. The sex was hurried and awkward as they had not moved off of the couch. When they finished, Duo sat back against the armrest of the couch, breathing heavily and heart racing while Heero sat at the end of his feet.

As Duo began to calm, his body began to come down from the high. Realization began to set in. _Holy fuck. What did I just do? I just cheated on my boyfriend. What the fuck am I going to do?_ He wondered what he was supposed to say to Heero now. Should he tell Heero that what they did was a mistake; that he was with Treize and shouldn't have done it? Should he apologize? He had to say something; the silence was beginning to get awkward.

"I'm - I'm sorry Heero," Duo trailed off, moving to grab his jeans from the floor.

"About what?" Heero asked, watching as Duo reached for the clothing.

Duo paused when his hand had hold of the jeans, staring at the fabric. He fought to build up the courage to say what he thought he needed to say. "This was an accident; I'm already with Treize. We can't be a thing."

"Treize? Treize is clearly a piece of garbage if he allows you to continue doing this!" Heero raised his voice and grabbed Duo's knee to bring attention to the forest of cuts on Duo's thighs.

The second realization of the night came crashing down on him. He had been careless and the existence of the cuts was no longer a secret. But Heero had it wrong and that angered him. He had not lied about not cutting.

"You said you hadn't cut in over a month, but it's clear that many of these are less than a week old." Heero pointed out accusingly.  
If there was one thing that Duo hated more than anything, it was being called a liar when he wasn't lying. It filled him with an uncontrollable rage. That rage built up and burst, causing Duo to growl, "I haven't been cutting myself!" Duo stood and pulled his jeans on. There was silence as Duo grabbed for his shirt and pulled it on before searching for his jacket and shoes.

" **You** haven't been cutting yourself," Heero mused before concluding, "Then that means that someone **else** has been cutting you. And I'd bet money on it being that piece of trash boyfriend you have."

Duo stared at Heero, shoes and jacket in hand. Fear and anger welled up inside of him. "It's none of your business Heero."

Heero stood abruptly, stepping forward to close the distance between them. He grabbed hold of Duo's shoulders and looked him in the eyes. "Duo, you are in a toxic relationship. You need to get out of it before something bad happens," Heero told Duo gently.

Duo glared at Heero, angry at him for thinking he could tell Duo what reality was and what he should do. One of the many buried voices in his mind leapt out of the darkness and told him that Heero was being honest and trying to help him.

"I'm not saying go break up with your boyfriend so you can start dating me. I'm saying you need to end the relationship to save yourself. How much longer will this cutting thing go on before he starts hurting you in ways that you don't like? How much longer before he starts hitting you out of anger; before he starts abusing you?" Heero rationalized.

Similar thoughts had already been lingering around in Duo's mind, but he had not wanted to confront them. He wanted so desperately for this relationship to be different from all the other ones he had been in; he wanted to believe that it WAS different and would never be like the others. But doubt filled him, and it had been creeping in for the past week. He was reminded of the suicide thoughts and how it had not been this bad in years. He wondered why he had let it all go on for as long as he had. Why did he ever think that his relationship with Treze was healthy?

"I don't know," Duo answered quietly, defeat filling his features.

"I'm sorry to put you through this Duo, but you need to do what's best for your sanity and health."

Duo looked down at his feet. It didn't matter what was best for him. It had never mattered before, so why should it matter now? "But I don't matter, so what's the point?" He whispered.

Heero lifted Duo's chin to look him in the eyes. "You do matter Duo. You matter to your friends. You matter to the world. You matter to me. You might not see or feel it right now, but you are significant. This world would not be the same without you. I don't know exactly how you're feeling right now, but I wish you would open up and talk to someone so they can help."

Duo contemplated what Heero had just said. It was hard to believe in that moment that he made any difference to anyone's lives, but he could not deny that talking to someone might help. But was Heero the right person? After the short period of time they had known each other, and what had just transpired? Duo wasn't sure, but he felt that if he didn't step through this open door that all the doors in his future would be perpetually closed.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I do need to talk to someone. Would you mind if we talked?" Duo asked before the small amount of bravery he had gathered from the doubt could slip away.

"Are you sure you want to talk to **me** about everything?" Heero asked.

"Yeah, but maybe you should put some clothes on first." Duo pointed out candidly.

Heero nodded, "True." He pulled away and dressed quickly before they both sat down on the couch to talk.

End Chapter 14

 **Authors Note: Please note that conveying the depth and magnitude of depression and how it affects someone and people around them is difficult. I use my personal experiences in this story to help significantly, but it is still difficult to portray the magnitude of what is going on inside the mind.**

 **I am open and interested in** **critique, especially about the technical aspect of my writing and how I can improve it.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Trigger/Mature Scene Warning  
NC-17 Warning  
**

Chapter 15

Duo woke the next morning to sun light streaming through the curtains into his eyes. He groaned and rolled over, throwing the covers over his head. He had gotten home late the night before and wanted to sleep more. In fact, he wanted to sleep for the rest of eternity. He dreaded the idea of getting up to face the world. His talk with Heero had gone well, but that didn't change the fact that he knew he had to do something about his situation. Heero had helped him realize that what he had with Treize was toxic and he needed to get out of the relationship. Duo agreed with him and when he had left he felt a new sense of confidence, but that confidence had melted away and now all he was left with was fear and anxiety.

He didn't feel brave enough to confront Treize about ending the relationship, but at the same time doing nothing wasn't an option. How could he continue the relationship with what had happened between himself and Heero? How could he even try to face Treize and act like nothing had ever happened? He wasn't sure if he could. It's not like he hadn't lied about things before, but this was different. Not to mention that he had grown too tired to throw on a convincing mask.

Duo laid in bed for awhile, letting his thoughts race around in his mind. The sudden sound of his phone ringing caused him to jump. He rolled over and fumbled with the vibrating phone on the bed side table. The screen read that it was Treize calling him, and he swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat. He was torn between answering it or letting it go to voice mail. He wanted to run and hide under a rock. The phone continued to ring and vibrate in his hand as he stared at it. He watched as the call was sent to voice mail. He wanted to feel a sense of relief, but avoiding the call only caused him more anxiety. He began to set the phone back on the table when it rang again. Treize was calling, again.

He wanted to ignore the call, turn off his phone and hide in his apartment for the rest of the day. He had a feeling like Treize was not going to let up though. Even if Duo did all of those things, there was still a big chance that Treize would end up knocking on his door later that day. It was better to answer the call and find a way to avoid seeing him.

"Hello?" Duo answered sleepily.

"Good morning Duo. I called a moment ago but you didn't answer, is everything okay?" Treize asked.

"Yeah, sorry. I was sleeping and I missed the first call. What's up?" Duo lied, sitting up in his bed.

"It's okay. I was just calling to see how last night went."

Duo felt his heart begin to pound in his chest. "It went okay. Kind of boring but not horrible I guess."

"Well, what do you say I come over later this evening and we do something exciting?" There was a sultry seductive tone to Treize's voice.

"I'm actually feeling kind of tired today..." Duo trailed off.

"Then you can take a nap later. I wont be there until five, so that will give you plenty of time to rest. Make sure you take a shower before I get there," Treize commanded sternly.

Duo wanted to object, but he didn't. In fact, before he could even voice his own opinion, the conversation and phone call ended. Duo stared at the blank screen dejectedly. He wasn't ready to deal with facing Treize yet, and he knew he wasn't going to be ready later that day either. He wanted time. Time to think and process everything. He felt the itch to cut creeping under his skin. He knew he needed a distraction. He hadn't had a lot of energy as of late so he hadn't been painting, but he knew that getting out of the house and into his studio would be a good break from everything. It would give him a chance to express himself and process things. His mind made up, Duo pulled himself out of bed to head out.

xxxx

Duo had spent hours in his studio painting, and he wished that he could stay there all night. It was the perfect place to think about how to handle everything. He had immersed himself in the art, creating a dark and elaborate piece. He stared at it for a long time, contemplating starting work on another blank canvas. A quick look at the time told him that he wasn't going to be able to do anything more today. He still needed to get back home and shower before Treize arrived. Yet this did not stop him from taking the time to sketch out his ideas on paper and begin working on the first layer of his next concept. It was four thirty when he left his studio and by the time he was walking through his front door it was four fifty. There was no time for a shower. He was covered in paint and wished that he had left sooner. There was nothing he could do about it now. Treize would be arriving any minute.

Duo had just set his keys and phone down in the kitchen when there was a knock at the door. The all too familiar anxious feeling flooded through him. He wondered if he could get away with not answering the door, but he remembered that he hadn't locked it. Duo trudged over to the door and opened it to let Treize in.

The two men stood at the door way looking at each other. Normally Treize would just walk right in, but he was clearly eyeing Duo's appearance. Duo fought to push back the negative feelings welling up inside of him, trying to not care that he had not listened to what Treize had told him to do. Treize finally stepped into the flat and headed down the hall to the dining room. Duo had noticed a lack of expression on the other mans face as he walked away. He mopely walked down the hall behind Treize, hesitating to sit at the table.

Treize set the food he had in hand down before turning to Duo. "You didn't take a shower like you were told," Treize pointed out. "Did you take a nap at all today?"

"No," Duo looked down at his stocking feet. "I went to my studio to do some painting today."

There was a pause and Duo's face was lifted by a finger. He found himself looking up into angry eyes. There was a sudden sharp pain as Treize slapped him hard across the face. Duo kept his face turned to the side as he fought back the tears that were welling up in his eyes.

"When I tell you to do something, you will do it," Treize hissed. "Do you understand?"

"Yes, Master," Duo whispered.

"Come, its time to eat," Treize stated as if the previous exchange had not happened. He sat down at the table and began to pull containers out of the bag.

Duo sat down across from the other man, keeping his eyes focused on the table and containers that were being pushed in front of him. He took a pair of chop sticks in hand and opened a container. He began to slowly eat, taking small bites. He had not had much of an appetite to begin with, but after Treize had slapped him, any trace of hunger had completely disappeared.

Silence settled between the two men as they ate. Duo picked at his food, wishing that the night would be over and he could go back to sleep. They had not been eating for long when Treize spoke up.

"You need to eat Duo. What's going on with you? You're acting different."

Duo looked up, fear coursing through him. "I'm just not feeling very hungry right now, that's all," he half lied. There were so many things eating him up inside, but he wasn't ready to deal with them all yet.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that lie, and you're going to tell me what's really bothering you," Treize commanded harshly.

"I'm not lying Treize. There isn't anything wrong, I'm just not hungry right now," Duo pleaded.

Treize scowled at Duo. "You're playing with fire, Duo. You have one last chance to tell me the truth, or so help me god I will make you regret lying to me."

Duo swallowed. He was being handed a double edged sword. He could stand his ground and continue to lie, walking straight into some unknown punishment. Or he could bite the bullet and tell the truth, risking something even more unknown. He felt like he was staring down the barrel of a gun.

"I-" Duo hesitated.

"Yes?"

"IaccidentlyhadsexwithHeerolastnight!" Duo blurted out quickly. He was half hoping he could get away with saying it so quickly, that Treize wouldn't read into the words.

"I'm sorry? What was that?" Treize asked, eyes squinted in half skepticism and half accusation.

"I-" Duo sighed in exasperation. "I accidentally had sex with Heero last night. It was an accident Treize! We had been drinking and one thing led to another and it just happened!" Duo tried to explain. He had no idea how Treize was going to react, and he feared for the worst.

Treize was quiet for a moment before he asked, "You **accidentally** had sex with Heero last night?" Duo felt as small as a mouse in that moment. He nodded his head tentatively. He wanted to disappear.

"How do you **accidentally** have sex with someone else?" Treize spat.

"I - I don't know." Duo looked down at the cooling food in front of him. "It just happened."

"Stand up." Treize growled. He had moved to stand beside the braided man. Duo looked up at Treize in confusion.

"What? Why?"

Without hesitation, Treize grabbed the chain around Duo's neck and yanked him up and out of the chair. Duo stumbled, yelping in pain. A hand took hold of his braid and pulled down, causing Duo to fall to his knees. He tried to regain his composure but was abruptly slapped across the face before being lifted back to his feet. Treize wrapped his hands around Duo's arms with enough strength to bruise and threw him across the room into the wall. Duo cried out in pain, crumpling to the floor.

"You dirty fucking whore!" Treize shouted, standing over Duo's shaking form. "Who do you think you belong to?!" Treize kicked a booted foot, making contact with Duo's stomach. The braided man curled in on himself, holding his screaming abdomen. He choked out a sob. Treize knelt down and took hold of the chain, pulling at it and lifting Duo up only enough to look at him. "Well?!"

"Y-you," Duo chocked out through the pain.

"That's right. It seems like you've forgotten that though, so I think I need to make you remember," Treize hissed. He grabbed a fist full of hair and pulled Duo to his feet. Duo fought to stand against the pain radiating from his skull. Treize grabbed his wrist and pushed him down on the table, holding his arm against his back painfully. The ginger haired man yanked Duo's jeans down around his knees.

"Treize, please," Duo sobbed. "Please stop." He struggled to free himself from the other mans stronger grip. His face was smashed against the table in response to his effort. Duo's mind raced, trying to think of a way to get the other man to stop. He felt Treize press his dry erect member against Duo's unprepared entrance. Duo bit his lip and shut his eyes tight, trying to not think about the pain that was about to come. Treize pushed in aggressively, eliciting a cry of pain from the braided man. Treize began to thrust in and out roughly, ignoring Duo's sobs.

"Please stop!" Duo wailed. He struggled to remember the safe word that Treize had told him over a month ago. He hadn't needed to use it before, but now it felt like his only reprieve. "Red! Red Treize!" He shouted, but the attack did not stop.

The assault continued for what felt like eternity. Duo felt like he was in a nightmare. He willed himself to wake but to no avail. The pain was real and beyond any agony he could ever remember. This wasn't a dream; this was reality.

It finally ended when Treize was spent. He pulled out of Duo and leaned down next to the braided mans ear. "Don't let it happen again."

Duo laid on the table sobbing. He heard the sound of the door opening and closing a few moments later. He slid off of the table and curled up on the floor. He laid there for a long time, crying and wishing for the pain to stop.

End Chapter 15


	16. Chapter 16

**Trigger/Angst Warning**

Chapter 16

It was the next morning, and Duo found himself staring into the foggy mirror in his bathroom. He had just finished showering the filth of the night before off. He reached up and wiped the fog from the mirror. He barely recognized the face looking back at him. There was a cut on his lip from being slapped, and his right cheek was red and slightly swollen. His left cheek and eyebrow were also swollen and a dark red bruise had bloomed in response to having his face smashed against the table. The mirror also reflected back the hand shaped bruises on his arms. Duo reached up and removed the chain that he had around his neck, revealing red and ragged marks from the force of Treize's yanking. The mirror could not reflect the pain he felt inside though. The physical pain in his body screamed with every movement. His stomach ached, and his back felt bruised. The physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional pain though.

Duo turned and slowly made his way to his room. He threw on a t-shirt and pair of jeans before quickly braiding his hair and falling back onto the bed. He stared up at the ceiling, letting his mind race. He felt dead inside, yet at the same time a deep darkness loomed inside of him. He wanted the darkness to disappear and his mind played with ideas to remedy his pain. He checked the time on his phone. It was only ten in the morning, but that wasn't going to stop him from drowning out the pain with alcohol. It was, after all, always after five o'clock somewhere. Mind made up, he pushed himself off the bed and towards the kitchen.

Once there, he pulled the absinthe out of the freezer and a shot glass from the cupboard. He poured a shot and downed it quickly before pouring another. He stared into the emerald green liquor before throwing it back. Despite the strength of the alcohol, he knew it would take more than a few minutes for it to kick in. Perturbed by this fact, Duo grabbed the bottle and shot glass before trudging to the bathroom. He placed the two items on the floor and rumaging for his knife in the drawer. Knife retrieved, he slid down the wall to sit on the floor beside his new companions. He poured another shot into the glass before setting forth with the task at hand.

Duo held out his right arm this time, musing over the relatively un-scarred flesh of the skin. Without hesitation he pulled the knife over the flesh of his forearm, continuing until there were five parallel cuts. He sat staring at the clean cuts on his arm and the blood flowing and dripping to the floor. He set the knife on the floor beside him and grabbed the shot glass full of liquor, slamming it back and enjoying the burn as it traveled down his throat. He turned his attention back to his arm. A moment later, his cell phone rang from atop the bathroom counter. Duo rolled his eyes and lifted himself off the floor, snatching the phone up and answering it.

"Hello?" He answered angrily.

"Duo, it's Heero. I wanted to call and check on you. I haven't heard from you since the other night and I was worried. Are you doing okay?"

Duo looked down at the blood dripping from his fingers. No, he wasn't okay. He was far from okay. But he was starting to think that he would never be okay.

"I don't know," Duo answered apathetically.

"You sound like something's wrong, Duo. Do you want me to come over and we can talk?" Heero asked, concern evident in his voice.

"If you want to, whatever," Duo answered indecisively.

"Well of course I want to, but I want to make sure you're okay with me visiting."

Duo sighed. He didn't want to think. He didn't want to make decisions. He wanted to drink the day away and numb the pain. "Yeah, you can come over."

"What time sounds good? It's almost eleven, so I could stop somewhere on my way over and grab some lunch. How does Chinese sound?" Heero offered.

"No!" Duo snapped. His heart was racing. The idea of having Chinese made him want to throw up. He had once loved Chinese, but after last night he didn't want to eat it ever again.

"Um, okay."

"I'm sorry," Duo shook his head, a gesture he realized Heero could not see through the phone. "I've just been eating a lot of Chinese lately and I'm sick of it."

"It's okay. I can grab a pizza, how does that sound?"

"Sure."

"Alright, sounds good. I'll be at your place around noon."

"K. Bye."

The call ended and Duo set the phone back down on the counter top. He turned his attention back to his arm. The bleeding had tapered off and was no longer dripping. The logical part of his brain told him to clean himself up and wrap the wound, but every other part of his mind threw care to the wind. He knew he couldn't leave his arm the way it was with Heero coming over though, so with a defeated sigh he began washing the wound and blood off of his arm. Once the wound was clean and dried, he gazed at it again. The clots had been washed away and blood had begun to bead again. With a shrug, Duo left the bathroom, leaving behind the mess he had made. He didn't have the energy or care to do anything more than he already had. He knew he should cover and wrap the wounds, but again he lacked the ability to care enough.

Duo was sitting on the couch, a shot glass and bottle of absinthe on the coffee table in front of him, when there was knock at his door. He had just poured his fourth shot of the day and had been about to down it. He contemplated throwing it back quickly before answering the door. It wasn't like it could hurt anymore than it would have before, so he downed the shot before making his way to answer the door.

When Duo opened the door, Heero was standing there with a box of pizza and bottle of soda in hand. The small smile on the Japanese man's face vanished in an instant when he took in the sight of Duo. Discomfort filled Duo and he ushered the other man in, making sure to close and lock the door before following behind Heero to the dining room. Heero set the pizza and soda down before turning to Duo with a concerned look on his face.

"Duo, what happened to you?"

Duo shrugged and moved past Heero to grab plates and glasses from the kitchen. When he returned, Heero was staring at him in confusion and disbelief. Duo ignored the look and busied himself with plating food and pouring drinks. A gentle hand touched his shoulder and he looked up into deep cobalt blue eyes.

"Duo, did Treize do this to you?" Heero asked softly.

Duo swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat. Tears welled up in his eyes and he fought to keep them from spilling over. The tears fell regardless and he chocked on a sob, looking down at the table that brought horrors back into his mind.

"Yes," Duo whispered. His hands were flat on the table and it felt like they were the only thing that was keeping him standing.

"Duo, your arm!" Heero exclaimed, reaching out to tentatively hold Duo's forearm.

Duo looked down at the cuts and smeared blood. A tiny part of him wanted to care enough to have hid it, but no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't be bothered.

"Did he do this too?!"

A small dark chuckle bubbled out of Duo and he looked up at Heero through blurry eyes. "No, I did that this morning."

"Duo..." Heero trailed off, before grabbing Duo by the hand and carefully leading him over to sit on the couch. Duo sat limply against the arm rest with Heero on the cushion beside him. Heero glanced at the bottle and shot glass on the table before turning his attention back to Duo. "Have you been drinking this morning?"

"Yeah," Duo shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal.

"How much have you had?" Heero inquired.

"I dunno, like four shots." Duo felt numb inside and the way he spoke screamed his lack of care.

"Duo, what the hell happened? Please, talk to me," Heero pleaded, taking the braided mans hands in his own.

Duo looked at Heero in silence, contemplating how to even start. He looked over at the bottle on the table, wanting to take another shot. The alcohol was already starting to hit him strongly and in reality he knew he didn't really need anymore but that didn't stop him from wanting more. He looked back at Heero, wishing he could just run away from everything and everyone so that he wouldn't have to deal with it all anymore.

"Well," Duo started, "Treize came over last night and I told him what happened between you and I. He uh," there was a pause and Duo turned his head to look away, "He beat the shit out of me and raped me." He turned his head back to search Heero's face before continuing, "And then this morning I fucked my arm up." The lack of emotion in Duo's voice was unsettling.

"Holy shit, Duo. I - I don't even know what to say." There was silence between the two men, a silence that bothered Duo. He wanted Heero to stay something, anything.

"So! How about we have some pizza and soda?" Duo suggested, acting like he had just told a friend about some boring event and not a traumatic experience. He moved to stand, but Heero caught him by the wrist. The look that Heero was giving him made him feel sick to his stomach. It felt like Heero was pitying him, and he didn't want pity.

"Duo, you're almost acting like nothing happened. You need to deal with this." Heero pushed.

"I have dealt with it," Duo pointed out, showing Heero the fresh wounds on his arm. "See, all dealt with." Duo flashed a dark sadistic smile. He pulled his wrist from Heero's hand and went to the table, retrieving a plate of pizza and a glass full of soda. He sat back down where he had been before and began to eat.  
Heero watched him in disbelief.

"You should grab some while it's still warm," Duo said around a mouthful of food.

"Duo, please stop acting like nothing happened. This is a serious situation."

Duo swallowed the food he had been chewing on and glared at Heero. "What do you want me to do Heero? Throw myself on the floor in a fit like a baby? Or maybe, I should just fucking kill myself already and end this fucking nightmare that is my life!" Duo spat, his words laced with slight sarcasm.

"Duo, that's not what I meant. And why would you say something like killing yourself?" Heero asked calmly, but his eyes screamed the fear that he was holding back inside.

Duo threw his plate down on the table and stood up to pace the room. "Why the hell not? My fucking life is shit. Always has been, always will be. I'm just a worthless piece of shit. I don't know why I haven't just fucking done it already!"

Heero stood and approached Duo, taking hold of his shoulders to stop the braided mans movement. Heero looked Duo in the eyes as if to emphasis his next words. "You're life isn't shit, Duo. You are not shit. You are an amazing man with amazing talents. You have people who truly care about you, and if you were to die we would all be heart broken. You make a difference in peoples lives, weather you see it or not."

"That doesn't change the fact that I'm not strong enough to keep fighting. I'm tired Heero. I'm tired of waking every day to face the world. I'm tired of not knowing how I'm going to feel in the morning. I'm just so fucking tired," Duo countered, shoulders slumped in defeat.

"You are strong Duo. Look how far you've made it in life. You've gone through so much, and most of it alone probably. You are strong because you haven't given up yet. I don't want you to give up, because there is still so much I don't know about you that I want to learn. I don't want you to want to give up." Heero paused before continuing, "I think you need to get help Duo."

"Phft, been there done that Heero. I came to the conclusion long ago that I'm far beyond help." Duo pulled away and sat back down on the couch, grabbing the plate of cold pizza and shoving the food into his mouth.

Heero sat back down beside Duo, letting silence settle between them for a moment before speaking up. "Duo, you need serious help. I don't know a lot about mental disorders, but I've learned a lot from Trowa's teaching over the years. I've watched you go through a lot of ups and downs since I've met you, and I think you might have Bipolar or some other disorder." Duo stopped eating and looked at Heero. "There is help out there Duo, and someone can help you get through this. I don't want you to get to the point where you want to kill yourself."

Duo shook his head. "It's already too late for that, Heero."

"You've been suicidal, even before all this bull shit happened?"

"Have been for weeks," Duo whispered. He looked down at the plate in his hands. "I'm scared Heero. I don't want to feel this way anymore."

Heero placed a hand on Duo's shoulders. "You don't have to Duo. We can get you help." There was a pause before Heero continued, "You don't have to do it alone Duo. I'm here for you."

Duo looked up and gave a weak smile. "Thanks." He was grateful for Heero's kind words, but he felt lost and unsure what to do next. "Where do we go from here?"

"Well, I think first thing's first. You need to break it off with Treize. Then we can work on getting you help somewhere."

Duo looked away. "I don't think I can face Treize right now. I don't want to see him after what happened last night. I don't want to see him ever again."

"Then don't. Call him," Heero suggested.

"Hn. Don't you think that's kind of shitty to break up with someone over the phone?" Duo asked, falling back against the couch.

"A little bit, but Treize got to where he is because he's manipulative. I deal with him on a day to day basis, I know how he is. When you tell him it's over, he's going to flip like a coin and it's going to be even harder to end it face to face. Yeah, it's shitty but sometimes you have to be shitty to do what's best for you," Heero reasoned.

"Yeah." Duo nodded his head. He took a deep breath and sighed. He knew what he had to do, but that didn't make actually doing it any easier. Not wanting to hesitate any longer, Duo leaned forward and grabbed his phone from the coffee table. He scrolled through his contacts and selected Treize's number before hitting the call button. He waited in anticipation as the phone rang, part of him hoping that no one answered. When the ringing stopped, Duo's anxiety sky rocketed.

"Good afternoon Duo." Treize answered in a silky voice.

"Hey Treize," Duo muttered.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?"

"Well-" Duo hesitated.

"Did you want me to come over tonight for some food and fun?" Treize purred.

"No, actually," Duo looked to Heero who nodded to him reassuringly. "I called because I wanted to tell you that I want to end our relationship."

"I'm sorry, did you just say you want our relationship to end?"

"Yes," Duo answered, a new sense of confidence blooming inside of him.

"Is this about last night? Listen Duo, I'm sorry. I was angry last night, and I shouldn't have been so aggressive. It wont happen again, I promise. Let me make it up to you. We can go out somewhere nice for dinner, have some champagne and then go back to my place for some quality intimacy," Treize tried to reason.

"No," Duo shook his head, reminding himself that he was doing the right thing. "I don't want to be with you anymore Treize. I want to move on with my life."

"So that's it? We're through? We can't even talk about it?" Treize snapped.

"No, we can't. Nothing you have to say will sway my decision," Duo answered firmly.

"Fine. You're just a piece of trash anyway, Duo. I should have tossed you out after the first night we hooked up. It's obvious you're fucked up. No one is ever going to love you, and no one will ever you treat as good as I treated you. Go ahead and try to move on with your life, but in a month or two you're just going to come crawling back to me begging for me to take you back. You're too fucked up Duo, you know you can't stay away," Treize hissed.

Duo held back the sob that was threatening to bubble out of him, letting the tears fall from his eyes. He ended the call before Treize could say another word. With the deed finally done, the damn broke and Duo was left sobbing in Heero's arms.

End Chapter 16

 **Authors Note:**  
First I want to thank everyone for reading this story. I want to thank everyone who has favorited and followed the story as well. All the views and follows help keep me motivated to finish this story.

My request is that from this point on everyone bears with me. I had the story 'planned' out up to this point, but it has taken a lot of twists and turns I had not anticipated. In truth it was supposed to be much shorter. I have a good idea where I'm going but I'm struggling with how much depth I want to add to the story (and my own personal lack of patience). I have fully committed to this story though, and want to work hard to finish it. My life is super crazy right now, and with my own personal struggles with Bipolar, writing this story has become more and more difficult as it hits closer and closer to home. My goal is to write/post a chapter once a week, but I also work 12 hour days so it may realistically be more like once every two weeks. I apologize for any delays. Thank you again to everyone who has kept up with the story.


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